"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 385 - "Snow..."

Chapter 385 - "Snow..."

Clara's PoV

'Are you still here?' I mumbled, when I came back into the back office to get my coat and bag.

I'd been going out of my mind not being able to write that essay. Now that John has put me off - I'm not doing so well.

I'm beginning to question everything I've actually written in the essay.

'Yes. Because your coming with me to Lilly's dance show remember?'

'I've been thinking... Maybe I just won't go. I've got too much stuff to do' I said, picking up my lap top and heading out the door, where John grabbed my wrist.

'All the things that Lilly does for you and your going to let your best friend down the one night of the year she actually needs you? Your so much better than that Clara'

'I don't have time John. I haven't got time in my day to faff around at dance shows. I've got so much to do' I snapped at him.

'Clara your coming to the dance show'

'What exactly does Lilly do for me that's so important then?'

'She's your glorified Fucking babysitter whenever you feel like it. And I know she doesn't mind but she doesn't get paid for it and she needs you at this dance show and your not going to come? Well you are coming because of you don't then your not coming on holiday with me' he said sternly.

'I know you don't mean that John' I scoffed, heading towards the bus stop on my own, as John went to his car.

I felt really guilty about everything he had just said.

In a way he is kind of right.

I knew I had to go to the dance show. It would be terrible of me not too. But maybe I could take my laptop with me? Maybe I could write my essay while I'm out?

I didn't bother getting off at my stop, I went straight to where the theatre was and went in to see Lilly.

- - -

'Your here? John said you were working?' Lilly asked confused.

'I was. But now I'm not. I managed to get out of it. So I'm here' I said happily, pulling her in for a hug. The stress was still there - but what can you do?

'John and Richard are in the audience'

'Has he got Autumn with him then?' I said confused. He was the one who was looking after her.

'Yeah. Said you had approved him to look after her' she shrugged, showing me her dress she was about to change into.

'Good luck lil' I smiled, hugging her again, now glad that I had made the right decision to come.

- - -

I didn't have time to sneak in next to the others, so decided to just sit on my own at the back where some things that John had said had started to settle in a little.

Maybe I do rely on these guys way more than I should?

Everyday for the last 3 months she has been dumped on anyone who is available to look after her.

It's no wonder the whole mothering thing has been too easy... It's because o haven't done anything to look after her myself.

I've been throwing the responsibilities away and pushing them on other people.

The dance show I have to say was really good.

And Lilly was amazing, she's much better at dancing and musical theatre than I ever give her credit for - then I noticed that Doug was in the show.

I did wonder why he wasn't in the audience watching, it did seem pretty weird.

But turns out when he said he does musical theatre - that he acts quite well.

I wasn't even sure what the hell the play was about - it had something to do with the nutcracker, but I've never seen it so wasn't that interested - just interested in the acting and the dancing.

- - -

'You came? How long have you been here?' John said excitedly, advancing in on me.

'The whole time. I went and saw Lilly before she went on stage and I have to say it was insanely good' I complemented her without her actually being here.

As we were standing there, I dropped my bag on the ground and wrapped my arms around John's torso and hugged him tight.

'Whoa? What's with the hugging?'

'You deserve it. In fact everyone deserves it. I've realised today that I don't actually do much parenting myself. Everyone else looks after her. I've decided that I need to take more responsibility of her myself, she is my own baby' I scoffed.

'Everyone helps out when they want to because they want too. Otherwise we'd all say' he smirked, kissing my forehead then I realised that I was absolutely freezing cold.

'It's Fucking freezing out here'

'Hmm. I wonder why?' He chucked. 'You've been so in your own small bubble the last few days - you haven't even realised its winter'

I looked up at him and realised that his quiff was full of white flakes.

'It's snowing' I smiled when I turned around and looked at the thin white sheet of snow on the ground, covering patches of the pavement and cars.

It was really pretty.

'It's Autumn's first experience of the snow' I smiled.

'She doesn't look too bothered' he laughed pointing out that Autumn was asleep in the baby seat, and I realised just how romantic this moment was - a moment that we hadn't had in a really long time.

'I love you. You do know that don't you?' I asked, leaning up and wrapping my arms around his neck and looking into those deep green eyes I absolutely adore.

'Where's this coming from?'

'This moment. This romantic moment. I want to use it and devour it while I can'

'Well I love you too. Of course I do' he grinned, cupping my face, and kissed me deeply.

'Ouch. Rub salt into that wound why don't you?' Lilly joked, pointing over to Richard who was facing away from us with Autumn in hand and awkwardly stood there - obviously hearing every word of our conversation.