"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 237 - "Panick Attack..."

Chapter 237 - "Panick Attack..."

Clara's PoV

'Hey Richard. Are you in there?' I begged as I tapped on his door. I don't really come to his room very often. It brings way too many memories of the last time of me being here.

'You can't come in Clara' he shouted through the door.

'Eeew. Gross. Please tell me your not doing what I think your doing' I mumbled trying to get the mental image of that out of my head.

I haven't had a decent sleep all week and really just wanted someone to sleep in a room with me. It might help.

Actually I lie... I want the comfort of Richard in the room with me.

I fell asleep in Lilly's room last night, practically collapsing on her bed after vomiting twice, but what I really wanted was to have a film night with Richard and maybe he would get me to sleep.

Last night and this morning was the first morning of really bad morning sickness, and I was hoping it might pass quickly.

'No. I'm not doing that' he shouted back out offended.

'Then what's the problem?'

'I don't really know. What I do know is I ain't good' he said opening the door finally to reveal himself looking like death.

'Good god. What's wrong with you?' I asked pulling my top suddenly up over my mouth to stop the germs spreading. He was as pale as a ghost (literally) and couldn't move really.

'This house is kind of infected. Guess I picked up the bug that everyone else has got'

'How? You hardly spend anytime here? You spend more time at mine than you do at your own room' I pointed out.

'Look. Feel free to come in, but I can assure you it won't be long before I'm puking again' he grumbled, gripping to the door frame.

'Oh. Umm. Well I actually wanted to ask a favour?'

'If it's drive you somewhere... I don't think that's going to happen' he said swallowing hard.

'No. I mean I'm in a bit of a vomiting splurge at the moment and I was wondering if you'd come and spend the night? I always sleep better when your around or John, but I don't really want to be on my own with Mr Grumpy pants so wondered if you would?'

'Sure. Your more than welcome to stay' he said motioning me in. 'As long as you don't mind the puking that is?' but I stayed where I was. 'What?'

'It's just -- I don't mean to be awkward... But I can't come in. I umm - I don't think I would be able to stay in your room. It just brings back bad memories' I said nervously looking away.

'Hey it's okay. We can go to yours if you want? As long as you don't mind getting infected?' He said sitting on the bed. He really did look ill.

He's a man so he wasn't making a big deal out of the fact that he was ill at the moment but in a few hours time I'm sure he'll be dying upwards.

I stepped into his room, picked up a rucksack and started sifting through his draws. 'Nice underpants' I smirked when I saw he had a set of SpongeBob underpants, packing them for a laugh, and then packed a few t shirts and jeans and jogging bottoms.

'I ant going to wear them. I don't wear underwear when I sleep'

'You go commando?'

'Now there's something for you to think about' he half smirked.

It was the weekend anyway so I'm sure it won't be a problem if he's away.

'Come on' I smiled as he stood up and I made him out a grey hoodie on to go with his grey jogging bottoms and we headed out.

- - -

Thankfully it didn't seem to be anything that was passing. I was just vomiting from the morning sickness. His vomiting pretty much passed after one night at mine.

By Saturday evening he was almost back to his normal self.

I say normal because he wasn't eating.

'Oh come on. We can order a Chinese or something' I said suddenly regretting it and thinking about the grease that noodles would be cooked in.

'I'm not hungry'

'Okay, I'll run to Tesco's then and at least get us something, even if it's just crisps which actually do sound quite nice right now' I hummed grabbing my keys and leaving.

It was a pleasant walk up the road to Tesco's. I quite enjoyed the peace and quiet of the walk.

Bit so much the fact that it was starting to get dark but definitely enjoyed my own company for the walk.

I grabbed the crisps and some bread in the shops and headed back towards campus eating half the sandwich before feeling like I might gag.

My gag reflex was pretty strong at the moment and I was gagging on pretty much everything - making a mental list of what was safe to eat and what wasn't. So far there wasn't a lot on the safe list.

So I turned quickly into the park and vomited in a bush.

I retched a couple of times before I realised how silent the park really was and how I was completely alone, throwing up in a dark park, ready to pass out.

'Clara what's taking so long? You only went out for crisps' Richard mumbled on the phone when I called him in a bit of a panic.

'Richard I'm in the park about 5 minutes from my room. Can you come please?' I gasped through deep breaths.

'Clara what's wrong?' He panicked.

'Nothing. I'm just alone in the park, vomiting on my own. Please. Please come and get me' I cried. If he didn't come soon there's no way I wouldn't go into a full panic attack.

'Just stay put. I'll be there in 10' he said as I gasped continuously, looking around, panicking and worrying that someone might jump out from behind the trees, or from in the bush.

I didn't want to get myself unnecessarily worked up, but it didn't seem like I could help it. The more I thought about being on my own the more I felt myself sweating and the more I wanted to throw up.

I leant over the bush and started gagging, when I felt a hand on my back, which made me lash out in fear.

'Clara it's okay. It's just me' Richard said from the ground.

'Richard?' I gasped as I watched him scramble up from the ground and brush himself down.

'It's okay Clara. Just me' he assured again, as I breathed in deeply hoping to calm myself from my built up state. 'Clara you have got to calm down' he begged trying to calm me by rubbing my my arms.

It wasn't working. Not in the slightest.

Which was when something crazy happened.

And I didn't fight it.

Suddenly I felt lips on mine.