"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 206 - "Struggling..."

Chapter 206 - "Struggling..."

Clara's PoV

I was hardly sleeping - because I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes - I could see his face and the shadow of the dark.

I didn't know what to do anymore. It was three weeks on and I still was disgusted with myself.

I hid in my bedroom in the evenings, claiming I had endless marking to do, but wouldn't be in the uni halls alone.

If Lilly was going out. Then I would go with her. She was about the only person there that I trusted.

It made it very awkward however when I would see Ollie with her. She would make conversation and I would have to pretend that everything was normal.

I wasn't sure if I blame him or not - but at the end of the day - Richard was right. He could have done something if if that was call the police or anyone.

'Oh come on Clara. Not again. Can't we just go on one date where you don't tag along? Go and hang out with Adrien or something' she said shrugging me away and closing the door.

Ollie looked at me as they left and whispered something in Lilly's eat regarding the word "Clingy"

To Fucking right I was clingy. I was close to mental breakdown.

I know that her and Ollie are sort of "dating" although I'm convinced it's just shagging - but their still my friends.

I had spoken to John and he said he wouldn't be able to come down until tomorrow.

I had been distant. He knew that I knew that- especially when I told him not to come up and visit for three weekends in a row. I had to give in this weekend because to be honest I was running out of excuses to tell him not to come.

I nearly burst into tears just at the thought of being on my own in my room - let alone actually being in my on my own.

I tried turning the my laptop on, looking for a film - hoping it would distract me, but every little sound made me jump. The heating, the flick of the kettle, the wind.

I couldn't have the door open because of other people I never talk too wandering about. I felt like the walls were caving in on me - making me feel light headed and sick. My breathing had sped up making me feel weak like I couldn't hold myself up.

It was dark outside making me feel even worse.

I didn't know what to do.

I knew I couldn't be alone for any longer and so decided I had to do something, when my phone rang.

It couldn't have been more perfectly timed.

'Hey Clara. You busy tonight? Was wondering if you wanted to get out? Wanted to check up on you really' Richard said.

'Richard. There's something wrong, I can't breath. I feel really sick' I cried. There was silence at the end of the phone.

'Where are you?' He asked urgently.

'In my room. Richard I swear the walls are moving and the floor is making me feel stuck' I said gasping for breath desperately.