"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 243- "Involved..."

Chapter 243 - "Involved..."

Clara's PoV

'He what?' Jane snapped.

'Look I shouldn't have told you. It was months ago anyway - but I don't care. You can't pick and choose who you get pregnant and you can't pick and choose who your willing to help'

'Too right you can't' she yelled but it wasn't at me. She was seething with John. 'I thought I'd raised a better person than that. I realise he had a hard start in life but I will not accept this' she growled.

I felt bad about telling her by there's no point beating around the bush on it - and if I continue to ignore him she was going to pick up on it eventually.

- - -

Things had been awkward between us since that night but at least we were on speaking terms.

But I hadn't seen him since we told Jane and Dad.

Which was why I was completely shocked to find him turn up at my room, at my Uni at the end of the week, at the beginning of April.

'Why are you here?' I asked confused.

'I've come to grovel' he said putting it how it is.

Once again I had been putting everything off and out of my mind burying myself in all my work.

'Feel free' I said opening the door for him to come in. We'll see how this goes but I'm not ready for him back.

Especially not with Richard possibly on the horizon.

I sat down on my bed and he sat down on the bed as well, but kept a distance.

I pulled my legs onto the bed and crossed my legs. I decided then to come out with it.

'Ever since I said I was keeping it you've been really distant' I said to him and his eyes dropped. 'We both know it's yours now... Why haven't you tried harder?' I know that sounds incredibly selfish but it's true. Why has t he tried harder?

'You haven't made it easy'

'I thought you would have rang me the day after begging to be involved. I didn't think it would take you two days to be grovelling let alone two weeks' I pointed out.

'I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to come across that way... I guess... I was just silently relieved' he said.

'You what?' I asked shocked but there was also a hint of happiness in my voice.

'Sorry' he said lowering his head but I moved closer.

'Im just glad that your okay. There's so much against us in this and I don't want you to have to suffer again... Plus you know - it still might not actually be mine ' he admitted.

'We can only do what we can. And I will try to look after our "baby" as much as I can. And I'm sorry I didn't ring you. I just want to go back to normal' I pouted.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment then.

'John?' I questioned, hesitant.