"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 351 - "Lola..."

Chapter 351  - "Lola..."

Clara's PoV

I wriggled out of Richards grip and pushed my way through the metal bars, carefully treading over the dodgy bars and roof then got to the more stable bit that John was standing on.

He held out a hand which I grabbed eagerly and pulled me up to where he was standing - wincing afterwards of course - not letting go of my hand once I was there.

There's something wrong with him that he's not telling me about - and I know how fricken stubborn the man can get so I just wish he would go to a Doctor or something. We've been here before and there was something wrong. 'Clara it's too dangerous out here. Go back over there I'll get her I promise' John begged.

'No more dangerous than it is for you. What is the matter with you'

'Nothing. Just a little head pain... Nothing I can't deal with' he scoffed. 'Now go back'

'I need to talk to her' I said stepping a little more forwards feeling way to close to the edge making me very nervous, but knew I had to do what I had to do for my baby. 'Lola. I take it you know Felix well?' I questioned.

'That's the biggest understatement of the century' she scoffed, turning around to look over the edge.

It wasn't as far down as you would think - if she fell now she would only land about 10 feet below us but it would still hurt. There's all sorts of scaffolding and stuff around so the bit we are on is as safe as it could possibly be.

'More than once then?' I asked, cringing about talking about this. I've only ever told Alex about all this shit. I've never tried telling John or even Richard.

'I don't even know. I know I was a favourite' she sighed, taking an intake of breath.

'And your son?'

'She has a son?' Lilly whispered to Richard.

'I have no idea how Clara knows that' Richard shrugged watching intently wanting so desperately to get Autumn away from the crazy lunatic.

'I got help Lola. He raped me but I didn't let him define me. Yeah I went a little crazy and did some stupid things before I did get the help that I needed but it's there. I promise'

'I'm fine. I just want him to rot in hell'

'Which he is. But I don't understand why taking Autumn is going to help? What purpose does this have?'

'Because you got to keep your baby... They wouldn't let me keep mine. She looks just like him you know. You can live in your naive little world about who her Father is but she looks just like Felix'

'I don't care. I still wouldn't give her up for the world' I whispered. 'Please just let me have her back? She's distressed' I whispered, watching her and listening to her cry in distress. She's probably cold and hungry and very confused.

'She shouldn't be alive. I shouldn't be alive. How do you live everyday knowing the way he touched you? Or got near you? Or beat you up and abandoned you in a field'

'I just do. And so can you. Killing yourself isn't the answer Lola. It's not going to help' I sighed.

'No. Maybe it won't' she said sighing and seeing a little sense. There was suddenly some improvement, as she stepped towards me and shifted her back into my arms.

'Shush. Shush it's okay' I whispered to her, stroking her cheek and kissing her forehead and handing her over to John. 'Give her to Richard' I said as I stepped forwards towards the edge near Lola.

'Clara we've got her, just let the police sort the rest out' John snapped, grabbing my wrist.

'I can't John. I've been there. I know what she's going through' I said snatching my wrist out of his hand. It might have been a bad idea but I knew what she was going through.

'Lola. Come on. Just come inside. We can talk about this. I'm sure there's ways to get your son back?' I suggested.

'Hardly seeing as he's dead now. Probably what he deserves. Wouldn't want him to end up like his Father' she snapped, sitting down and hanging her legs across the ledge.

'Dead?'

'I told you... My mother wanted to get rid of him. So I had an abortion at just before 20 weeks. It was about 18 weeks. He was still born and everything. I had to burry my poor child. Because I was under 16 at the time - getting the abortion was easier for my Mum because she had to sign off for it to happen'

'How old was you if you were under 16?'

'I was 14 when Felix first raped me. He was barely a teenager himself but it didn't matter to him - he just wanted somewhere to stuff his penis and get his own way' she sighed, as I carefully sat down with her.

I was freaking the hell out being so fricken close to the edge. I took a deep breath and smiled knowing that I was facing one hell of a fear right now.

'He was my sisters friend okay. He never went after her - but he was only 19. What would possess someone to want to do that kind of thing to a 14 year old? What would possess anyone to do that at all?' Lola whimpered.

'He's a disgusting person but he's gone' I whispered.

'I couldn't tell my Mum. She trusted him and never would have believed me if I had told her - so I made it all up. I told her it was a stupid one night stand and she called social services. They said at 14 I just wasn't responsible enough to look after my own fricken son' she said standing up. 'My Mum wouldn't support me at all and threatened to throw me onto the street if I didn't give him up'

'I promise we'll get you through this. I got through it and I know it's delayed but you can get through it too' I assured her, as I stood up next to her.

'Come on Clara. Just get back over here' John begged, as we both went towards the metal bars but I remembered Autumns blanket that she had dropped. I had been gripping onto it whilst facing my height fears.

She might not be old enough to know it's her favourite yet - but it's my favourite so it's her favourite.

John came back, to help Lola off as I turned around and climbed back over, grabbing the blanket successfully and looking back at the guys. 'I'm coming' I smiled, as I stepped over the wooden planks, but I saw Lola's eyes.

'Clara' she yelled, running towards me as I went to stumble and the wooden planks gave in.

I remember hitting my head and a lot of blood... And wood trapping me, as someone landed on top of me.