"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 343 - "Girly Chats..."

Chapter 343 - "Girly Chats..."

Clara's PoV

'Why was you called away?' John asked smugly as he sat on the sofa looking at Richard.

'Don't really know. They didn't even call me back into speak in the end. They were going to - but they didn't'

'How was it looking?' Lilly asked as she left Clara sleeping in her room, they had all spent the evening trying to get Clara to feel a little better after the whole court hearing debacle - which given everything - Clara was in good spirits which was shocking to Lilly.

She'd been up for most of the night worrying so she deserved a decent nights sleep but she wouldn't let him take Autumn.

She wanted her close tonight.

'Not good if we're honest. They just kept asking Felix the same questions over and over. There's been three eye witnesses, and Felix changed his story about 800 times. Surly they have enough evidence to prosecute him but I bet they don't. I bet they let him run wild'

'They shouldn't. He's a part of rape. He's raped not just Clara, John. There was two other girls that Clara wouldn't have even seen' Lilly confirmed. 'And a mystery girl that refused to go into court. Apparently he had left her pregnant once upon a time too. He was clearly stupid to not have thought about things like pregnancy. It only takes once as Clara's proved'

'We can only see what happens' John sighed. 'But it's not looking great. Even if he gets 5 years... It'll be better than nothing at all' he sighed. 'What have you been up to all day?' John asked Lola as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, but he weirdly shrugged out of her grip - which was suspicious to Richard seeing as Clara had done the same thing earlier that evening.

'Been out in Ealing. Popped home for a little, did a little shopping' she lied. 'How was the court hearing?'

'As complicated as it could have been' John smiled.

- - -

The following morning I woke up to hear Autumn not really grizzling or crying just have a kick about in her basket.

She's only two months old, and she's not very demanding. In fact she's very relaxed for a baby.

I scooped Autumn out of the basket and placed her on the bed with me. I just wanted her close and to feel the warmth of her tiny body heat next to mine.

I know she's so young still but she was wriggling around next to me but I took her tiny hand and studied her face.

'You look like me' I smiled, as I analysed her nose which was mine because us Oswald's have quite the jean pool of a button nose.

I always remember my Mum saying it was a good thing because she didn't want me to end up with the beak that she had. I always had to laugh at that.

But I also recall it being the one thing that John would love to pepper with kisses, he always loved my nose.

I really wasn't sure if a relationship with him was what I wanted or needed right now - and I knew I needed a girly chat. I needed to talk to Lilly.

'Lil. You awake?' I asked knocking on her bedroom door.

'Well I am now' she grumbled.

'I just wanted a chat really' I said

'Is this going to be about your love life again?' She scoffed, as she rolled out of Douglas's arms and threw a shirt over her.

Let's put it this way - were best friends. I've seen her naked loads of times and vice versa. 'It is' I whispered.

'I'm coming' she nodded, leading me towards the common room, and sat on the sofa. 'God it's like 6am. Me and early mornings do not mix' she yawned.

'Look. This is the thing' I said handing her Autumn as she cooed little bubbles back at Autumn. 'I know she's cute but focus on me please' I scoffed.

'Right. Love life. Drama. Go' she nodded looking up.

'I almost slept with John yesterday'

'Right. Do your breaking up with Richard?'

'I don't know' I pouted.

'Hmm. So your not getting back together with John? Wait... You almost had sex with John?' She scoffed, suddenly much more awake than she was 5 minutes ago.

'Yeah'

'And your still with Richard?'

'Yeah'

'Why can't you just choose one guy?'

'I think I have. And it's been clear all along. I thought I'd wake up today and regret that kiss with John. I thought that I'd wake up and feel confused and want to run back into Richards arms but the truth is, that I want to run into John's arms more than anything' I sighed.

'Well you can't just jump ship Clara. Richard will hate you'

'I was just going to go out with John a few times while we still had Lola and Richard. Just to see if this was the way forward. That way if it doesn't work out then we'll still have guys to go back too'

'For Fuck sake Clara. That's not how real life works' Lilly suddenly snapped at me. 'You can't sneak around. Are you an idiot or what? If you want John back then you have to break up with Richard now and then wait a few months. That way you don't hurt him so much' kill scoffed.

'But--'

'No buts. If you two get caught then the backlash will be far worse from Richard. He'll hate you'

'He won't leave me. He won't stop being friends with me. He's way to attached to Autumn to just leave. He's like a second Dad to her. Been there through everything, he won't just leave.... Will he?'

'I don't want to speak for him... But you'll be very surprised the way that guys operate and it wouldn't surprise me if he ran for the hills' Lilly said with a yawn. 'Now. That's your time up for this therapy session' we joked. 'I'm going back to bed' she murmured, handing me Autumn.

I just stood gobsmacked and went back rocky room thinking about all the things she had just said.

But I'm stubborn. I know what I want.

I know who I want.