"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 227 - "The Eyes..."

Chapter 227 - "The Eyes..."

Clara's PoV

John didn't have to even hesitate before stuffing the ultrasound in his back pocket, before Clara returned stuffing everything else in her bag, and sitting as he was before she walked away.

'You know. I might just go and grab a couple more drinks. You'll be okay with Jane yeah? He asked looking at me.

'Yeah. Go. Can I have a lemonade?' I asked carefully, as he walked away.

- - -

John sat at the edge of the bed and stared at the piece of paper in his shaking hands.

The only thoughts that could go through his mind at the moment was the word baby. But he couldn't be sure this was all definite.

Clara had a past. What if she lost it? Why hadn't she told him? And why had she gone to an ultrasound yesterday without him?

He couldn't think properly trying to take all this in, and only managed to send one text to Clara - requesting her to come upstairs.

- - -

I was confused as to why he wanted me in the room, when he had told me not 30 minutes earlier that he didn't want too leave yet - but maybe this was my excuse to leave?

It's not my wedding, I'm just a plus 1. I hardly know anyone but John and Jane.

'Hey?' I said as he sat at the edge of the bed. 'What's up? Text sounded urgent' I asked.

'How long have we known each other?' He asked in quite a deep voice.

'I don't know. Years now I guess' I responded shrugging and dumping my bag down.

'4 years Clara. 4 years. Does that mean Fuck all to you?' He snapped suddenly standing up.

'It's means everything to me. What the hell has bought this on? We're happy?' I asked.

'What kind of relationship is that? Where we don't tell each other anything? That's just ridiculous' he pointed out.

'What the hell are you talking about? I know that people reevaluate their life at weddings but we ain't getting married or anything any time soon' I scoffed.

'Like hell you don't know what I'm talking about? Your the only person I know that doesn't have a problem with keeping secrets... Or hiding things from me'

'Huh?'

'How long did you plan on keeping that your Fucking pregnant? I mean seriously... A scan and everything and you still don't have the balls to tell me?'

'It's more complicated than that. I was going to tell you but then I never got the chance then I was going to tell you before the next scan' I assured him but he was seething with anger. He was not at all happy about this. 'And I bet I'm the last person to know again aren't I? Always the last to know things in your life'

'I-- I can't even deny that your technically the last to know' I mumbled.

'Of course I am. And I bet you told lover boy as well didn't you? I bet he was the first to Fucking know' John scoffed once again.

'Who's lover boy?' I asked really confused.

'Oh don't deny how close you and Richard have been getting. It wouldn't even surprise me if it's his kid. In fact... It would not surprise me at all' he snapped.

'I knew you were jealous. 19 years old and more jealous than a little kid'

'For gods sake. I knew this was going to happen eventually but I would have liked go have been in on it. Why didn't you tell me?' He yelled.

'Because it might not even be your kid' I growled letting it accidentally slip out. It wasn't supposed to be so harsh.

He went completely pale. Now I wasn't the only one in the room feeling sick.

'But--- it can't be-- I mean-- you can't know--' I cut off his bumbling and stuttering.

'I don't know. I just don't know' I said slumping back on the bed crying in a right old state.

He advanced and handed me a tissue but then pulled his jacket back on and wiped his cheeks too. 'Where are you going?' I sniffed.

'I have to go and see them off' he mumbled. This conversation isn't over' he snapped slamming the door leaving me feeling even more shit now than I did before.

- - -

'How long Clara?'

'How long what?'

'How many weeks pregnant are you?' He asked. I knew what he was doing. He as trying to work it out. Now he had worked out it might not be his kid he's trying to work out if it could or not.

I thought about that and decided there's no point in hiding the truth from him. '9 weeks'

'But how can you possibly be pregnant... If you haven't had a period in two months, then surely symptoms would have started to show before then... For someone who could possibly be 2 months pregnant you haven't gained weight'

He was in a huff now and then turned to look at me.

'Don't you know how the human body works? I wouldn't show yet anyway'

'Have you taken a test?'

'Yes. Your holding a scan for gods sake. You don't believe it or something? Because it's Doctor approved' I huffed.

'Oh god' he said putting his head in his hands and then I crouched in front of him.

'Umm. You do realise... I mean there was 9 days between umm, you and umm, the umm --' I cut myself off as he snapped his head up.

The realisation of what I was telling him kicked in as he looked right through me.

That was all it took for me to look at him. Stare eye to eye and see the pain in his eyes.

'Don't give me the eyes. Do not give me the eyes. The eyes do not work all the time' he snapped standing up.

'What?'

'They do that kind of really awful crying thing and are completely impossible to say no too. They're the eyes I fell in love with' he mumbled, and stood up in a huff.

'Where are you going?'

'For a walk'

'Wait what? Your not leaving me are you. John this is my worst nightmare. Just stay here please' I begged.

'Don't you think you've already caused enough fucking problems in my life without this Clara?' He shouted in my face and shrugged me off of him.