"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 392 - "Skiing... Day 1..."

Chapter 392 - "Skiing... Day 1..."

Clara's PoV

'Holy shit. What the Fuck are you doing here?' I scoffed, looking at Richard who somewhat was standing at the mirror in my hotel room, half naked which didn't feel me with much confidence. 'Oh god. We didn--'

'No. We didn't' he confirmed with a nod which still didn't make me feel much better about all this.

'Then why are you here?'

'Because when you vomit you don't like to be alone' he pointed out.

'Huh? Was I that drunk?' I asked as the thumping in my head gave me the answer to that question. 'Maybe I was' I scoffed. 'But we didn't have sex?'

'No. We didn't. But you wanted too. A lot' he mumbled, going into the bathroom.

'Richard. You don't understand'

'Don't understand what? There's nothing I can do about the way I feel Clara, apart from burry these feelings and pretend that they don't exist. I won't ignore them but you came onto me last night... You should be glad that I didn't act - because I very nearly did'

'Feelings? I thought we were past this?' I said, double checking that I didn't need to cover myself - which I didn't because I was fully clothed which made me feel a lot better.

'Oh come on Clara. We've been tip toeing around each other for weeks. It doesn't really help when you flaunt your boyfriend around the place. But whatever. It's fine. I'll get over it eventually. I just didn't want to leave you on your own'

'So you just... Slept on my floor?'

'Well like I said. I didn't want to leave you on your own throwing up. I did nothing wrong. I slept on the floor and only got up half an hour ago. I promise when I say that we didn't sleep together' he assured but I wasn't feeling it.

I still felt like something was very wrong.

'I kissed you' I gasped.

'Several times'

'Oh holy Fuck. This is not good. Oh holy shit this is not good' I snapped, jumping out of the bed.

'Don't worry about it Clara. I won't tell him. The secret is safe with me' he scoffed, buttoning up his shirt.

'Richard don't you get it? Nothing in my life stays a secret as it should. I have to tell him because he'll find out anyway'

'If you want to tell him - that's up to you but I want nothing to do with it' Richard scoffed slamming the door, as I leant into my bag and found my phone.

'Hey. Where have you been? I tried calling you like 6 times last night' John mumbled.

'We went out last night. Lilly watched Autumn' I admitted.

'Oh. Well I'm going into this meeting now do I don't really have time to talk, but I'll call you later? Have fun skiing today though what you?'

'Yeah. She's going to love her aunt Lilly more than me by the end of this week' I laughed.

I can't tell him something like that over the phone.

- - -

I got myself dressed into skiing gear and jacket then headed to Lilly's room but held back briefly when I heard some shouting.

'What am I supposed to do? Not talk to him? You can't stop me from talking to him' she yelled.

'I can. If you want to keep in contact with me. I'm sorry but it's a joke' Doug shouted, slamming the door and glaring at me.

'Is everything okay?'

'What the Fuck do you think? It's your fault' he snapped.

'How so?'

'Because of you and him kissing last night. Of course at least I know the truth now' he scoffed.

'You saw me kiss him?'

'I was with you as you did. I mean come on. Like this was going to be hidden?'

'You won't tell John will you?' I begged.

'We'll see how the day goes' he snapped, storming away as I went into the room and found Lilly cradling over the cot, crying.

'I'm sorry lil. I didn't mean to be a problem'

'Your always a problem. Your presence in a room is a Fucking problem. As if it's bad enough that you have ruined your own relationships and are intent on making everybody's lives miserable, your intent on ruining everyone else's relationships' she yelled at me.

'Lil?' I asked grabbing her arms.

'Look after your own baby' she snapped. 'I've got a relationship to go and fix'

'Lil?' I begged again.

'Move'

'Lil?'

'Move!' She snapped, as I moved to the left and let a tear escape. I felt bad but it wasn't my fault. Or maybe it was. I never really know anymore.

- - -

'Can I help you?'

'I asked about a crèche here in the hotel? Is it possible to leave my daughter here? Just for a couple of hours?' I asked a man.

'Yep. How old?'

'3 months. Food and nappies and spare clothes are in the bag'

'Okie dokie. Follow me' he smiled, opening the door and showing me where the crèche was.

After talking to the lady who looks after the babies and filling in some forms, I was left alone not sure what to do.

I didn't want to waste my day, and John was in meetings the whole day so I couldn't call him. I didn't really want to see Richard and Lilly hates me again, so I just headed down to the ski shop and got some skis anyway.

I headed up the slopes and sat on the ski lift patiently, before heading on down the slope and sort of regretting it as I did.

I had obviously got off at the wrong party of the mountain. I had been on the ski trip before but as a beginner still I shouldn't have been on the top mountain.

It was fun until I got half way down the slope and went flying off the rails, stumbling a little and lost one of the blasted poles.

'Fuck' I scoffed, looking back and braced myself for impact with one of the trees in the way but it didn't hit me flat in the face.

Somehow I continued rolling down the hill on my skiis and only stumbled at the end landing flat in my bum.

'Ugh. Wrong day to choose this kind of slope' I said worried about my bladder at this time of the month bumping around.

'Are you okay? Your really shouldn't be up here as a beginner' a husky voice said, as a helmet was removed and I glared upwards.