"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 218 - "Unlikely Friends..."

Chapter 218 - "Unlikely Friends..."

Clara's PoV

At some point within my crying, Richard helped move me to the bed and let me just cry it out, curled up in a ball. It was hard to keep crying. All I've done in the last 4 months is cry. But I'm finding it hard to stop.

I really didn't know what to do or think right now - but the one thing I couldn't do was face John. How could I look him in the eye and tell him it might not even be his kid.

It's bad enough I'm in the middle of university and could potentially be pregnant - without looking at him and telling the man that I love that it might not even be his baby.

If I looked at him I knew I'd never be able to keep it quiet.

'Richard... he's going to know from just one look at my face that I'm not okay. How the bloody hell do I hide it from him?'

'Can't you try? I know you want to tell him but don't you want to know for sure first?' Richard questioned.

He was right... I wanted to be damn sure I was 100% pregnant before anything else happens. Before I ruin his life.

'I don't want to tell him, but how do I look him in the eye and tell him it could potentially not even be his child. What if he doesn't want anything to do with me if it isn't his?'

'Clara--' I cut him off. 'He would have no room to talk' he muttered.

'What?'

'Never mind'

'What?' I asked again.

'It really doesn't matter - Your not seeing him until after the festival right? So don't tell him. If you let yourself have some time to adjust - you can wait until after a scan or appointment to tell him?'

'The festival? Do you really think I'm going to a festival now?'

'Yes. Because you need to get away from the fact that you could potentially be pregnant. Go and have fun but don't drink. Be careful but fun is what you need' he encouraged.

'I wish you was coming to the festival' I mumbled. 'At least I'd have someone to talk too'

'I don't think Lilly would want me sharing a tent with you guys' he admitted and he probably was right. They were on good terms but mainly because they weren't speaking. Although it is really depressing not seeing them together anymore.

'Can you do me a favour? I mean it's not like you aren't already but could you ring the hospital. Ask to book an appointment and tell them to look at my notes... See what they say? I don't know if I can wait think 12 weeks' I said nervously.

'Okay. Stay here' he said comfortingly and disappeared into the kitchen. He came back and asked a few questions that he didn't realise would be asked. 'When was the miscarriage Clara?'

'Year and a half ago'

'When did you get the all clear for the cancer?'

''3 years ago'

'When was your last scan?'

'A year ago' I sniffed, wiping my face and sobbed some more.

'She's got no idea. At a guess maybe 6 or 7 weeks at most' Richard said, looking at me trying to be comforting. 'There could be two potential Fathers... She's going to need a paternity test' he whispered but I heard it.

In a way I was thankful that he did. That we I didn't have too.

He hung up the phone and smiled assuringly.

'An appointments booked for March 1st. That's only 3 weeks away. She said best to be safe than sorry so start taking some vitamins and come off the alcohol immediately' he said.

'Alcohol-- Oh bloody hell. What about the day that I binge drank so much vodka that I wanted to die? I would have been pregnant then' I said horrified. 'I wouldn't be surprised if-'

'Stop winding yourself up. Stop it' he demanded. 'We'll sort this out. I promise' he soothed.

'I know. I know we will. I just don't know what to think right now? I don't even know how I'm going to get through three weeks of uni - plus half term and that bloody festival on Monday' I groaned.

'You will have fun. Just push it out of your mind for now' he smiled. Easier said than done. Especially seeing as Lilly won't know.

- - -

There was so many things that were going through my brain as I folded clothes neatly into my overnight bag.

It hasn't escaped my notice that I was pregnant. In fact there was no way of getting away from it. The symptoms were all there loud and clear.

I was exhausted all the time now. I was able to push it off to people as just having a cold, feeling dizzy, tired and nauseated but people will start to pick up on it eventually.

Even things like smells were starting to make me sick. I can't even be 7 weeks pregnant yet and yet I was already unable to hang around the canteen for too long, without wanting to gag - but thankfully morning sickness hadn't kicked in yet.

So this camping festival I might just get away with if I can keep my head clear for long enough to have fun.

I couldn't keep a straight voice when speaking to John on the phone - and face time just wasn't an option at the moment.

I looked at myself in the mirror and rested my brown curls on my neck and slipped into my brown leather jacket then sighed.

In a few months time I might be the size of an elephant.

'Clara. You in there?' Lilly demanded knocking on my door and walked in, as I was putting my eyeliner on.

'I'm here yes'

'You ready? Your still coming right?'

'I said I would so I am. And it might be fun. See a couple of live acts on stage I guess. And to get to go camping again' I smirked.

'Oh yeah, did you get a sleeping bag?'

'Yeah. Borrowed one off John and packed enough rechargeable phone cases to get me through three days so I'm good' I laughed picking up my bag and the sleeping bag.

'Well Crystal is bringing the tent. Rose and Jack are out buying the marshmallows and burgers so just get your stuff together and get going' she said really excitedly and all of a sudden no matter the shit I'm going through at the moment I was feeling excited too.

She always did know how to make me excited and cheer me up.

Maybe Richard was right and this would be fun after all?

'Wait did you say Crystal? Aren't you guys sort of unlikely friends?' I asked confused. 'Last time I checked you hated each other'

'Things change when you find out your related I guess. Plus now that my mother knows her brother is alive she's making me try with Crystal'

'Hey maybe you guys will get on yet?' I chuckled, picking my phone up, and placing my hat on my head. 'Let's go'