"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 356 - "Awkward Silence..."

Chapter 356 - "Awkward Silence..."

Clara's PoV

'Please don't leave me alone' I said gripping to Lilly's shirt when she went to move off the bed.

'I won't. I swear' she promised. 'I just need my phone'

I don't know why I was being so pathetic about it. Felix is gone and and I'll never see him again hopefully - yet I'm still scared.

It didn't even feel like it was John that was violating me - it genuinely felt like it was Felix back again.

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't make you stay' I smiled trough my tears, as she sat on the edge of my bed and laughed.

'Your not making me. You asked and I'm just here to look after you. I understand that you wouldn't want to be alone' Lilly chuckled.

'Where's Autumn?'

'In Adrien's room'

'Okay. But I'm going to feed her, then I'll be back'

'You really don't need to--'

'I want too' I said in genuine need to see my baby. She's about the only thing these days that I love so much that I can't go seconds without. 'You can get out' I said seeing Richard hunched over the basket.

'I just punched that moron to get off you. If it wasn't for me he would still be violating you' Richard scoffed turning to look at me.

'You put an epileptic man into another Fucking coma. What about that is saving me?'

'I could call the police for that. That was unwanted touching and you know it. As much as you love him - it was unwanted' Richard snapped.

'Who said--'

'Don't lie Clara. I know you've kissed him. I've seen you kiss him' Richard scoffed making me think about all my shitty actions in the last few months.

'You smell like booze. Get away from her please. I'll take her back to my room now Adrien. I'll be fine. We'll talk tomorrow'

'That's fine. I'll give you the night and a chat to Lilly to sort out what your lies are going to be - but know this - I won't believe any of them' he said walking away, as I lifted Autumn up and took her back to my room.

'What's wrong now?' Lilly whined.

'He knows about John. He knows that I've kissed him' I said and she looked at me with a raised eyebrow. 'We've kissed several times' I admitted.

- - -

'I never approved of any of this Clara. You have go tell him, you have to tell Richard if your breaking up with him'

'I don't think I'll have a chance. I have a feeling that Richard already knows and is playing games' I muttered.

'Brilliant. So we've got world war Fucking three on our hands again?' Lilly scoffed.

'I guess so'

'You do remember what happened last time right? I warned you about this Clara. I warned you not to do this... And low and behold you go and Fuck things completely up' l

'You can't blame me for this'

'I can blame you for all of this. You are the only one to blame for every single bit of this shit coming your way' she snapped, walking out of the room, as I went to put Autumn down to sleep, and see if I could talk some sense into Richard.

- - -

'Richard can we talk?'

'No' he scoffed. 'Go away Clara. I quite literally do not want to talk to you right now' he said curled up on his bed trying to sober up.

'But?'

'But nothing. Just go away' he muttered as I shut the door slowly and went back to my room, closing the door and breaking down in tears.

In all fairness it's all my crappy daily, but even still... I don't understand why everything has to go wrong.

- - -

'Clara. You awake?' A voice asked as I opened my eyes, and turned with a sigh.

'Hmm?'

'The hospital called. We gave your number for if there was a problem with John'

'There's a problem?'

'I don't think there's a problem as such. I think he just wants to see you. Apparently he's vomiting and crying and a little panicky' Doug said.

'Oh. Yeah. He normally does. Umm why are you telling me and not Lilly?' I asked.

'She said she doesn't want to speak to you and ironically Richard said the same thing... So your pretty limited on people who are happy to talk to you at the moment' he said.

'Right' I mumbled, sifting Autumn together and getting dressed realising that I would need to take her with me as I highly doubt anyone else will want to talk to me.

- - -

'I'm here to see John Smith?' I asked at the reception desk on the verge of tears.

I had hardly slept last night and now was realising that I was feeling really crappy and just needed a good sleep and cuddle.

'Right this way. Room 114' she smiled as I knocked on the door.

'Clara? Yay. You came' he said suddenly very excited and happy, pushing himself to sit up a little on the bed.

He was way too pale for my likening but I put the car seat down on the floor, where she was sleeping soundly anyway and fidgeted with my hands awkwardly.

'What's up?'

'Richard found out about us'

'How?' He scoffed.

'Do you not remember last night at all?'

'Some of it. I remember getting completely smashed and the awful strip club, but that's about it?'

'So not trying to sleep with me?' I asked.

'What?'

'You kind of forced yourself on me last night and it was just awkward really. Then Richard came in and punched you off me because he thought you was trying to-- well you know. What Felix did. And then you had a fit from the alcohol and the punch' I said really quickly. 'And now Richard and Lilly are both ignoring me and I have nobody to talk too'

'You've kind of done that to yourself' he sighed. 'It's my fault' he said as tears pricked my eyes.

'Can I have a hug?' I begged, as I launched myself at his arms where I knew I belonged.