"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 202 - "The Light of Day is Much Worse..."

Chapter 202 - "The Light of Day is Much Worse..."

Clara's PoV

I woke up to the light of day.

I can't remember when I fell asleep, or how I fell asleep but it was definitely late - and definitely in someone's arms.

I heard banging and crashing about come from by my ear and sat up, to see Richard surrounded by boxes of shoes.

'Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. But I needed these shoes' he said.

I would have laughed at how stupid he was had I not been feeling completely drained of life right now.

I had such a headache, from all the crying. Thank god it was a Sunday, because I don't think I could have gotten up this morning and gone for a lecture or even thought about writing any essays this morning.

I looked over at the bottom of the bed and saw a pile of clothes. 'I umm -- I washed them once you fell asleep last night. They're dry and okay for you to put on' he nodded.

'You didn't have to do that' I said.

'You needed clean clothes. Of course I did' he smiled again. It was really nice of him but I was going to have to burn those clothes. Any clothes that he touched with his bare hands were going to have to be burnt and never bought back.

I wish I could have smiled back but I literally couldn't bring myself to force a smile even. I was such a mess.

I got changed when Richard left and hated the idea of being left in the room alone, but managed to fish my phone out of my bag.

I saw a few missed calls and texts but he had texted Lilly, letting her know I had gone back safely somewhere.

I'm still confused as to why Ollie was outside the club and why he had left Lilly and where exactly Lilly had gone to. She normally is attached to Ollie by the hip lately so it must have been one hell of an argument for them to be separated.

Then I read a few texts from John - but felt physically sick at the idea of seeing him.

I'm broken now.

The idea of him touching or kissing me or giving me any kind of affection just made me want to vomit.

I came back in the room and saw Richard back on his bed with his laptop in hand. I sat next to him but kept my distance.

'You umm, you won't tell John about this will you?' I begged.

He stared. 'I won't. But I think you should'

'I can't Richard. I was-- I was r--" I literally couldn't bring myself to say the word.

'I know. I know Clara it's okay, it wasn't your fault okay, you know that don't you? You don't have to say it' he said soothingly.

'It has to have been my fault? I just don't get it? Was I that tempting?' I cried.

'No. It wasn't your fault, but if you don't tell him Clara it's going to make things between the two of you really hard. If he doesn't know what's wrong then you'll become distant from each other'

'I can't even admit it to myself Richard. How can I tell him? He'll think I'm disgusting and dump me'

'He won't. He's got more class than that. I just wish I knew what dicks did this to you and then I could punch them in the face and rip there fucking throats out ' Richard scolded. 'As for Ollie... Well the next time I see him he won't be able to walk' Richard threatened.

'No. Please don't. I don't even know who he was' I panicked. 'Just please don't tell anyone. I'll tell him in my own time' I said pushing my hair out of my face and winced.

'Does it hurt?'

'Yeah, I've got a massive headache' I admitted and he jumped up grabbing two more tablets. 'My ribs are killing me as well' I said as I gently sat on the bed.

'I really do think we should get you to a hospital' he demanded.

'No' I said swallowing them and stood up for another comforting hug, which hurt like Fuck but if I kept complaining he would make me go.

He as about the only person right now I was going to let touch me.

'What will you tell him about your head?'

'That I was clumsy and fell over a bit tipsy, that's a good excuse and pretty believable. I'll say that I knew you were close by and so I called you to help, you took me to the hospital and they instructed I not be on my own last night. Which is why I spent the night at your room'

'You've really put some thought into your lie Clara'

'It's not all a lie' I said sniffing and pulling back from the hug. 'It's all you can think about when your trying to forget whats happened to you'

'Are you going to be okay?'

'I'll be fine. I'll just throw myself into lectures and essays and shit. I'll be fine' I assured him.

'I'll take you home if you want?' He asked.

'Would you? I know it's light... But I just don't want to go on my own right now' I said embarrassed.

'Don't be embarrassed by that. I'm not surprised you don't want to be alone. But what will you do tonight?'

'Get used to it. And anyway I know Lilly will be next door' I smiled assuringly, as I staggered to the door and bent down accidentally grabbing my phone and cried in agony falling backwards.

'Right that's it. We're going to hospital' he said.

'No. Then I'll have to tell them' I cried.

'We'll think of a lie Clara. But we have to get you checked' he snapped.

'No' I demanded making absolutely sure he knew what I was saying. 'No way'

- - -

We got to my uni and I opened the door inviting him in. Everything he's done he kind of deserves to come in.

'Did- did you want a drink or something?' I asked.

'No. I can't stay. I've got an essay due Monday morning ' he said and I nodded.

'Oh crap. Have I stopped you from working?'

'No. It's pretty much done anyway - just a few last minute adjustments to make' he promised.

'Il call you later and check how you are' he promised.

I nodded.

'Get some sleep Clara and stick to paracetamol every few hours' he nodded leaving me alone and frightened even in my own room.