"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 338 - "Decisions..."

Chapter 338 - "Decisions..."

Clara's PoV

I stepped out of my room at 12 o clock knowing that I had an afternoon introduction lecture thing.

I tried hard to look half decent - especially seeing as I was un fat now I needed to look good.

'Hey' someone said as I threw my bag over my shoulder and pulled my boots up.

'Morning' I smiled, looking over at Doug standing by the kitchen. 'What are you doing here?' I asked but knew exactly what he was doing here.

'Spent the night' he smiled.

'Right. Well I've got a lecture so I'll see you later. I'd like to get to know you sometime but got a lecture' I said running out of the flat and straight too the campus.

It has been a while since I had been on campus and I felt a lot less watched this time.

I managed to sneak in and grab a place at the end before everyone arrived, as Alfie sat next to me. 'How comes you didn't wait? We could have come together?' Alfie suggested.

'Yeah. Sorry. I just wanted to get here early' I admitted.

'Richard said he's going to meet you at the end of the seminar and take you for dinner. Something about Pizza?'

'Yeah. Thanks for passing on the message. So how was your summer? I mean I know you said but I was feeding Autumn and you were cooking'

'Oh. We went on holiday to Australia. That was great fun. You should go. You'd love it. All the cute animals and things. Wait till Autumns a bit older though - she'll love it one day too' Alfie suggested.

- - -

'Pick three topics? Why is it so hard to pick? There's so many to choose from' I pouted looking at the list over dinner.

'You could look at the pizza menu instead because the poor guy just wants to take your order' Richard said getting highly impatient.

'Oops, sorry. I'll have umm - just put everything on - and make sure there's lots of cheese' I demanded knowing that cheese was the one thing I'd been lacking in the last few months and the one thing I want back. 'Sorry - I've been really dull haven't I?' I said apologetically.

'Doesn't matter' he scoffed. 'Come on then. What are all these options that your stuck on?' Richard asked, trying to be interested.

'Well there's work placement which I want to do but I haven't ruled the scholarship to Chicago out yet and would be doing loads of experience there. Then there's sociology, English and psychology. I want to do them all but I can only do two'

'Chicago? Your still planning on going? I thought you were not?'

'I did think about it and to be honest it's a 20,000 pounds scholarship. It would be ridiculous to not go surely?' I pointed out. 'I really want too'

'And what about Autumn? You didn't want to leave her behind for 4 days? How could you possibly go 4 months without her in your life?'

'She'd come with me Richard. I would never even dream of leaving he here. And it totally wouldn't be fair on my Dad to leave her hanging around with him for 4 months. No I'd want her with me. As soon as I get the chance I'll be discussing it with the head of the department' I assured him.

He looked a bit sad and admittedly it would be difficult not seeing him and John and Lilly for 4 months but I can't expect everyone to just drop their lives and come to America with me.

I would have to learn to get my own experiences without the help of others like that. It's not their problem. And to be honest the only reason that I would want them to come along is to be my glorified babysitters which really wouldn't be fair.

He did however drop the topic for that evening.

- - -

'See now this is something we haven't been able to do in a while' I said as we strolled hand in hand down the path towards the park and came across a bench which Richard sat down on and beckoned me to sit with him.

I collapsed on the bench wrapping my arms around his neck and grinned.

'So. How was your first day? I never even asked. I was so worried about my options and choices and America that I didn't even think about your first day'

'Eh'

'What the hell does eh mean? Is that good? Bad? Or Indifferent?' I scoffed, kissing him gently before pulling back and looking for an answer.

'It means eh. Your worried about about your work experience, I guess I'll do it at unit because John said that I can' Richard said.

'What kind of experience are you going to do at unit?'

'Mechanical stuff. To be fair unit needs a lot of mechanical stuff done. Just ask John. I've already got a job waiting for me at the end of my uni' he said wrapping his hand around my waist and running circles down my back.

'At least you'll have a job' I mumbled. 'I'm 19 years old and am already responsible for another persons life and everything and every shit decision I make now will come back to affect her'

'Hey, your doing a great job. Your doing all you can for her. And she's going to have experienced the university life before she's one. She a lucky little thing'

'I know. It's just things are going so fast. She's already a whole bloody month old. Before I know it I'll be teaching and she'll be in school and my life will be gone--' I said getting myself into a state again so he kissed me as that usually tends to work to calm me down.

- - -

'Have you heard this ludicrously? She wants to go to Chicago John? She actually wants to go to America' Richard scoffed.

'And? There's nothing we can do? If there's one thing we all know about Clara it's that when she puts her mind to something she is going to do it' John muttered.

He didn't like the idea of her going to America as the next person but he also knows there really is nothing that he can do about it.

'Oh come on. We have to stop her surly?'

'Not going to happen though is it? She wants the experience and she's going to get it because we can't stop her'

'But she's already worrying way too much about raising Autumn and screwing her up - what are we supposed to do! Just let her go?'

'She'll probably change her mind' John muttered.

'Like you said. We both know that she won't'