"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 230 - "Johns Admittance..."

Chapter 230 - "Johns Admittance..."

Clara's PoV

'Clara come on. Let me in' Lilly begged.

'Go away Lil. It's one in the Fucking morning. Go away' I snapped as my Dad stood from the sofa. 'Don't even think about it' I warned him.

'It's 2 degrees out there Clara. She's probably frozen her eyes shut. I don't care what the arguments about just let her in' Dad mumbled opening the front door. 'She's in the lounge'

'Thanks' she chattered as she appeared in the lounge doorway, and I listened to my Dad clumping up the stairs complaining about how it's his house and that I don't know how to follow rules. 'Someone's grumpy' she said lightly trying to make a joke.

'It's not funny Lil. None of this is funny' I grunted.

'Look. Let me explain Clara. I didn't even know about him an Crystal until like two months after everyone else did. Not properly anyway. I knew they were in an argument'

'I told Crystal I wanted to snap the guys balls the that done and said those things to her and the truth is that I still do. Even if the guy is John. The next time I see him I am so throttling him' I chucked.

She smirked.

'No. Don't smile. Do not smile. I will tell you when it's okay to smile and make this funny and it is not at this moment. I still haven't forgiven you'

'But you will. You always do' she said sweetly fluttering her eyelids in the way that only Lilly knew how.

- - -

'Clara John has something to say ' Richard snapped barging through the door that Lilly opened at about 7 o clock the next morning.

It wasn't long before we were talking again - but I hadn't spoken to Richard yet and I knew he was trying to talk some sense into John.

I wasn't at all interested in seeing him, especially when I'm thick with sleep, and exhausted from being up at 2am with sickness.

I was still annoyed at Lilly if I honest. In fact I'm angry at everyone. But seeing John in the flesh made my knuckles go white and want to punch him into tomorrow.

All that crap about loving me and being there for me. When I had the miscarriage saying he would have helped. Why would he say something like that to Crystal? Why would he do this to me? Why would he walk away in the first place?

I always thought he was a decent bloke that could make things better but in the end he just throws money at the problem and hopes for the best. Something that Lilly had noticed a long time ago but I failed to notice.

'You can tell him from me that I'm not interested' I scoffed.

'Tell her' Richard snapped and that's how it all began.

'Richard she knows' Lilly whispered.

'What?'

'She knows about him and Crystal and the pregnancy and the rudeness' Lilly whispered.

'Oh hell this is not going to be good'

- - -

John's admittance.

Not just that - but some home truths and some things that he really thought of me clearly.

I mean we argue more than any couple in the world. I've never known any couple argue as much as us. We might as well be a story line on Eastenders.

But this afternoon he was to put it politely... A fucking prick.

'Hold up. Your bed hoping more than me'

'That's hardly possible is it Clara? Even if I did sleep with her. I wouldn't have caught up to your list of guys. That's not possible' John said and instantly regretted it the minute he said it by the way his, Richard and Lilly's mouth gaped wide open.

'Dude' Richard warned. Especially since the recent events. He knows I blame myself for that and still do. He can't possibly be adding him to the list could he?

'Hold up. Did you just imply that I'm a slut... Because it wouldn't be the first time you've called someone a slut would it?' I said with crossed arms and raised eyebrow.

'No. I didn't mean--'

'That's exactly what you meant' Lilly mumbled from the side of the room.

'Well if that's really what you think of me then you can fuck off' I said swearing.

'Clara please don't swear. Your not like that'

'Oh what sorry? You think I'm some little innocent little girl? Someone who can't swear or get herself in trouble - because news flash I'm fucking pregnant - and hopefully (and I do use hopefully lightly right now) with your fucking baby - and its your fault' I screeched.

'To be fair it might not be mine' John said and for the first time since I had told him I saw some sadness in his eyes about that but right now I was seething and suddenly hoped it wasn't his because if it ain't his then he can't stick around.

'Clara calm down. The stress isn't good for you or for the baby' Lilly said pulling me away from him because I was so very close to punching him.

'I can't do this, right now. Get out' I moaned opening the lounge door.

'No way, I ain't going anywhere. I've got rights and if you won't acknowledge that I'll fight you. Because if we're having a baby... We're doing this right' John said through gritted teeth.

'Rights. You want to talk to me about fucking rights? Because you might not have any. As painful as that is to say... You might not have any' I shouted.

That stung, both me and him. Because for the first time I realised in nine months I might not even be delivering his kid. I could be delivering some dicks kid.

'Well we'll soon know' he muttered.

'We won't because I'm not harming or putting the baby at any risk. I'm not having or requesting a paternity test yet and there's nothing you can actually do about it' I snapped.

'What? Your telling me that it might be my kid but I can't and won't be able to know until 7 months time?'

'Id rather not know at all' I mumbled before he really lost his shit. 'Please just leave' I begged breaking form Lilly's grip.

'Grow up Clara and stop for once in your life being so spoilt. You make out like your the first 19 year old to get pregnant. Your making out like the universe owes you a favour but it doesn't. It owes you fuck all' John yelled and I punched him so hard he was startled.

'Get. Out' I spat. When he didn't move I punched him out the door and down the street. 'I don't want to even look at your face right now. Go away. Go back to your hoe'

'I mean it Clara, if you don't let me in I will fight you'

'Fight all you fucking like. I don't want to know you anymore'