"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 373 - "Death Contraption..."

Chapter 373 - "Death Contraption..."

Clara's PoV

It was a little later than expected when I finally got to get on a motorbike.

I was really hoping that Richard would still come back and teach me but for now I had to put up with one of John's really dull friends - but he knew what he was doing and it made John feel better that I had a professional helping me to rid a bike - especially if - in John's words "I was going to continue with this stupid plan of riding a death contraption'

'You stay here. And Mummy is going to go and have some fun' I said really excitedly, as I laid Autumn down on the picnic blanket between John's legs and kissed her forehead.

'I really don't know about this Clara. What if you fall off the death contraption and you leave poor Autumn motherless?'

'Then she'll have you, who will be happy to raise her - now why do you have to sound so morbid? Why can't you just appreciate that this is something that I am actually looking forward to doing?' I pouted, as Jim came up behind me with the helmets.

'Because your basically committing suicide if you fall off' he said as she wriggled around on the ground and Lilly handed her a little rattle. 'Cancer doesn't kill you, you die when you fall off a bike. This is the kind of story that will end up in newspapers'

It wasn't really cold for a mid October day - John had promised if it did get cold that he would take her inside and warm her up.

For 10 weeks old - she's been pretty good. And she goes from person to person really well. She's probably going to be a very sociable little girl.

It was safe to say that me and Jim did not hit it off which made me really sad. Obviously John had given him a lecture and tried to get him to convince me Mr to ride the bike... But it wasn't goi to work.

I would teach myself if I had too.

'Hey. I'll help' Doug said suddenly coming up behind me and chuckling.

'Huh?'

'I've been riding motorbikes for years. Far more trained than him. So come on. Jump on' he said patting the back seat.

'But he was a professional?'

'And I've been riding since I was 10. My Dad used to take me out on his' he clarified, leading me towards the bike that was sitting in the middle of the field.

'Is it okay to be completely nervous now?' I questioned, feeling a little sick looking at the bike.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.

I was so excited this morning, but looking at the motorbike up close probably wasn't the best plan.

'Come on. I'll take you for a spin first and then you can go on your own?' He suggested, patting the back of the seat as I climbed on, and wrapped my arms around his waist. 'Hold on' he chuckled.

I don't really know Douglas at all that well quite yet - but for some reason I was willing to trust him with my life right now just for the excitement.

- - -

'Is it okay to say that I can't even look?' John said nervously, as Lilly picked Autumn up.

'Can't you just support her?' Lilly sighed, as she did that weird thing with babies - by pretending to steal her nose even though she's got no idea what the he'll is going on.

'Yeah. If she did something normal like pottery or riding an actual bike. Not riding a death trap waiting to happen or a suicide mission in the making' John scoffed.

'Rough crowd' Lilly smirked. 'Anyway - if she's your girlfriend again now you'll have to support her in this'

'I did give her the jacket and helmet to be fair' John scoffed.

'True. But your not properly supporting her. Just be nice' she scolded.

- - -

It was actually quite exhilarating to be on the motorbike finally.

John was shitting himself but I was really excited and so I jumped on the bike with Douglas and wrapped my arms around his waist as he started up the engine.

I loved the way we zoomed past them a few times on the bike and he picked up the pace a couple of times so that it was a lot faster, before he pulled to a stop and jumped off.

'Right. I think I've shown you everything you need to know. You ready?' He asked as I sat forwards and he jumped on the back.

'Ready' I grinned, starting the bike up and beginning to move at a slow pace - the. After a few minutes got impatient and sped up.

In hindsight it probably wasn't a good idea to speed up considering I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but thankfully Douglas was on it and managed to slow the bike down before there was any damage done.

'Jesus, there is no way you are getting back on that death contraption again' John said running up to us.

'Why? You can't tell me what to do. That was so much fun' I said excitedly clapping my hands and jumping up and down,

'Your amazing' Lilly said out loud making John scoff and then shut his mouth walking towards Autumn for our lunch. 'Do you want a go?' I joked looking at Autumn.

'No Fucking way' John said pulling her away from me. I was only joking but John evidently thought that I was serious. 'She might be your kid... But. There's absolutely no way she's going anywhere near that death contraption' John scoffed.

I looked at Lilly who was confused as hell, as I sat down. 'Please tell me your not going to have an argument about this. She was just joking John?' Lilly said, as he stood up.

- - -

'Where are you going John?' I scoffed as he stormed towards the car.

'Home. I'm obviously not wanted or needed here so I'm leaving' he said sadly, but angrily at the same time.

'You are needed. Why are you so worried?' I asked coming straight out with it. I mean I had a pretty good idea why - but to hear it come from his mouth would be good. 'Lilly wasn't freaking out about Doug bring on the bike?'

'Why do you think? I love Autumn like she's my own kid - but she's not is she? She's not my Daughter Clara. I wake up every day and hear her crying and it makes my heart swell but she's not related to me' he said suddenly slumping onto the ground.

Clearly he hasn't off loaded this on to anyone - I thought that's what he had a girlfriend for.

'Whoa where did this come from?' I gasped. 'I was riding a a bike and now your rambling on about her not being your daughter again? She's as good as yours?'

'Please. I'm irrelevant. I'm nothing to do with her'

'Your not irrelevant in her life John. Your as much her Dad as anyone else would be'

'You don't get it Clara. Richard was your  boyfriend. She saw him all the time. She gets excited when he comes in the room. She stops crying when he says. She thinks he's her Dad, and why wouldn't he? He's great with her'

'Neither one of you are her Dad. Your just going to be really great friends. She's going to come to both of you when she's older and love you both just the same. Your both going to be part of her life equally'

'And what about when she gets married? Whose she going to ask to walk her down the isle? Him' he scoffed.

'Whoa. Marriage? She's 8 weeks old. I'm hoping that marriage is way down the line' I joked but I knew he was serious. 'Where the hell is this coming from?'

'When you get on that bike I literally see you falling off it and what of anything happens? What then? Because without you around I'm nothing to her. I'm not legally anything yet. I'm just your boyfriend. They wouldn't let me have her'

I was going to say that he was overeating but in a way he was right.

If I died tomorrow - touch wood - social services wouldn't let him have her. Which means I need to sort this whole father thing out once and for all.