"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 357 - "Avoident..."

Chapter 357 - "Avoident..."

Clara's PoV

'Shush. You don't need to cry' he smiled, cradling me in his arms on the bed.

I felt really bad considering I had come to see him, and make him feel better after a fit, yet I was the one that was being the complete baby.

'John. I can't loose everyone. I can't loose Richard or Lilly or anyone' I cried. 'I need my best friends'

'Shush. Don't worry about that now' he said kissing my forehead.

'How can I not worry? Neither of them will even look at me. Lilly freaked out and Richards playing games knowing that I've cheated on him and it's just not fair. I live with them - how can I just avoid them forever?' I cried.

'It won't be forever. You and Lilly are closer than bricks on a wall. And Richard will come around. We all know that' he said rolling his eyes.

'I-- I need to go really. I need to go and do my essays. I've got umm. Loads to do' I sniffed wiping my eyes.

'Don't do anything stupid Clara' John said as I ran out the room. 'I'll come and see you when I'm out of hospital' he yelled but I had to just get out of this place, and get home.

'Yeah. Maybe' I mumbled.

'What kind of Mother does she call herself?' John scoffed as he slipped off the bed and placed the car seat on the bed. 'Who would want to forget you?' He smirked, lifting her out of the seat.

It was funny because she wasn't related to him - yet holding her close like this made him think about how much he would love to be this little girls father.

'Clara. You realise you left your daughter here don't you?' John smirked down the phone as Clara turned around and realised he was right.

'Fuck' was all he heard.

- - -

'Who's this little one?' A nurse asked.

'My friends baby. Sorry she left her here and I didn't want to leave her in the seat' John smiled, tickling the infants tummy making her make baby giggles.

'Were ready to discharge you. You'll feel the after affects of the fit but hopefully you shouldn't have another one' she smiled handing him the discharge forms.

'So little munchkin. Who's a better Daddy? Me or Richard?' John asked genuinely as she wriggled on the bed. 'Good answer. Uncle Johns the best' he chuckled.

- - -

'Are you okay?'

'Was discharged and all is fine. She's okay too. We had fun we did, didn't we little one?' John smirked poking her button nose.

'I'm sure you did. This is what I've come too. I'm so stressed I forgot to pick my own baby up. After everything with Lola you'd think that I wouldn't want to have her out of my sight... Yet I still leave her at the hospital like an idiot'

'Hey. Don't worry about it. It is what it is, and she's okay' he promised moving her from the seat to the basket. 'And it's not like you left her without anyone because I was there with her'

'What about you? Are you okay. You were the one that had a fit' I asked.

'I'm fine' he promised, brushing some hair out of my face and pulled me towards him, where I wrapped my arms around his waist. 'Just some after effects of the fit but I shouldn't have another one - still need to be monitored tonight though'

'I can't avoid him forever John, I already ran in and made sure that he couldn't see me. I can't avoid him for much longer can I?'

'No'

'What do I do?'

'You have to break up with him. You have to make him talk to you Clara. You can't keep on like this' John mumbled awkwardly,

'I'll go now' I smiled, trying to be assuring but really I was just kidding myself. There was no way that Richard would even want to talk to me right now.

Nonetheless I tried anyway, knocking on his bedroom door.

When there was no answer, I took it upon myself to open the door anyway and found a giant pile of stuff in the corner of the room.

'Is that what 8 months was to you?' I scoffed as I heard him at the door. Just a pile of my stuff at the corner of the room out of the way, looking like it was ready to burn.

'No. It's what 8 months was to you. Just admit at the very least that you never had any feelings for me. Just admit that you pretended to ever love me'

'That's not true. I did and still do love you - I'm just not sure anymore that it's in the way that I love John. I love you Richard but I'm not in love with you - and I think it's been that way for quite some time' I mumbled.

'Just as I thought'

'Know this Richard. You can hate on me all you want - but to see Autumn you have to talk to me' I snapped.

'I love that girl like I would love my own daughter' he scoffed, looking slightly worried now. I didn't mean what I said. Even if I wasn't talking to Richard, he would still get to see Autumn.

'I know you do. I don't want us breaking up to affect your contact with her' I mumbled.

'So that's what this is then? We're breaking up? We're breaking up for good? So you can be with him? He treated you like shit. For years he treated you like you didn't matter. We've never argued. We're much better suited' he begged.

'Richard please don't make this harder than it is. It's not you its me-'

'Don't give me that rubbish. It's obviously me otherwise you wouldn't be running off to him'

'Please can we not break up on bad terms. I don't want to take her away from you but if we're not even talking then what chance do we have?'

'Not a lot I guess' he grumbled with his hands in his pocket and looked down at his feet.

'Exactly. We can make this work. You don't have to avoid me' I smiled.

'No. But I do. You see I do. Because I have to avoid him. He'll spend every moment of his life now jealous. Every time we sit in a room together alone, or stand in a line together alone, he'll be on your case panicking that either you'll kiss me or I'll kiss you. You have to understand that we can't be friends after this. I just don't think it will work' he grumbled, closing the door in my face.