"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 240 - "Progress...?"

Chapter 240 - "Progress...?"

Clara's PoV

We need to take a blood sample from you, just to make sure all is well with you. We will run more tests at your 18 week scan in 4 weeks'

'There's another scan?'

'That will rule out a whole list of complications. And for you we will run every single test' she said hopefully. 'I need a full history off the both of you to make completely sure' she said.

'But we don't know it's him. I mean it could be --' I cut myself off awkwardly and she understood.

'We will run a test with his blood. If it's not him then it could be the other mans' she said. 'It's up to you if you want the paternity test now or when the baby is born. It doesn't really run a risk to take a sample from your stomach but it's up to you. We do get the most accurate results of course from a swab to the inside of the mouth when it's born. In the meantime we'll take a blood sample and see what blood type the baby has. Because we don't know what blood type the other guy has we can't rule out that it might be his baby. Even if the baby does have the fathers blood'

'No' I sighed.

'I'm sorry?'

'I don't want the test. I'm not putting my baby at any risk at all. I'll wait until it's born and then consider the test. I don't want it' I muttered making that clear.

'Right. If your sure about that but it would be less complicated if you kn--'

'Don't bother she won't listen' John muttered.

'Shut up man. It's her choice' Richard defended having not left my side in quite sometime.

'In the meantime then can I get a full background form you?' She said looking at John. 'Just in case it does turn out to be yours. Better safe than sorry'

'I have epilepsy... But it's not gentic. It happened after a car accident' John said.

She nodded noting everything down. 'Do you know what your going to do? Have you got supportive parents?' She asked concerned.

'No idea' I said.

- - -

'Can I talk to Clara alone one second?' Someone said in the doorway and I smiled realising it was my psychiatrist. But then I realised why my midwife had left the room earlier.

She had called to get me a pesychactctric assessment.

She thought I was so fucked in the head that I needed help and persuading to do what's right? But I know my own mind. I know what I want and what I want is to not know for as long as is possible.

'Yeah. Come on John, Richard. Just leave them a few minutes' my midwife smiled as my Psychiatrist walked in and sat in front of me.

'How you feeling?' She asked.

'Fine. Aside from the fact I could potentially be pregnant with my rapists baby - otherwise I'm all good' I said sarcastically.

'Why didn't you tell me at our last meeting you were pregnant?'

'It was irrelevant' I shrugged

'Clara if you decided that you didn't like toast at the moment it wouldn't be irrelevant because your going through so much stress. I didn't explain well last time what it is your going through' she smiled. 'And that's my fault'

'Depression?'

'It's a little less complicated than that but nothing too much. Victims of rape and attacks tend to struggle with their surroundings and stressful situations. Every little trigger or sound reminding them of that moment where it all went horribly wrong and that's called Post Traumatic Stress. And what that's doing up here' she said tapping her head, and stroking my cheek 'Is making you think irrationally'

'Your persuasion isn't exactly helping' I mumbled.

'What part of not knowing who's child it is, is a good idea? We don't need both men present for the test because we have John - and he's very willing'

'I can't know. You don't get it, if it's not John's then not only will it kill him but it will destroy me. I can't come to terms knowing its Felix's baby' I muttered.

'If it is you can give it up. There are several options'

'I'm giving it up either way which is why I don't understand why everyone is so desperate to know who's kid it is. If I'm giving it up I don't need to know and neither does whoever the kid goes too' I mumbled again.

'But legally--'

'Cut the legally crap. I'm not interested in that'

'I just think - and I'm not trying to persuade you here - but I just think that if you knew who's child it was then you can rest a little easier, and what if it isn't John's? Your putting the poor babies life at risk because we won't have the real Dads notes'

'You ain't having them either way so that one isn't working on me. What's the point anyway... She said they might not come back conclusive - and what if it harms the baby?'

'The chances of that are very minimal' she said knowing that she had made progress because I was asking questions. I hate it when adults think they have won.

'Okay. I'll have the blood test. But that's it. We still won't know who's baby it is but we can find out who's blood it has. If any harm comes to my baby' I said cutting off before she could even get the door open.

I agreed to the test but I didn't agree to finding out the results myself. As soon as the test results come through I can sling them out and only the hospital will need to know.

- - -

As we left the office he clutched to the little picture, and I could see he was sort of happy.

I can't work out how he can be so happy about this knowing it might not even be his kid.

I'm not.

But I did the test and practically cried my eyes out for a full 10 minutes while they did the blood test.

It was amusing how Lilly had to keep us both calm because John hates needles too - but that was where we parted ways for the evening.