"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 324 - "Feeding..."

Chapter 324- "Feeding..."

Clara's PoV

'You ready to feed this little munchkin?' Alex asked as I wandered in the following morning.

It had been almost 24 hours since I had held her now and was feeling a little deprived.

I wasn't too shocked to find that John was already there and holding her when I came in. I would have let him do the first bottle feed but I felt like I really wanted too.

I felt like it was my job and my responsibility now.

'I've actually got to go to unit for a bit' John mumbled.

'How come?'

'Well I am technically on paternity leave. I just took it early for all of September now instead of October but I guess there's just some really important meeting that I can't miss. I literally have to be there. But you'll be okay looking after her' he assured.

'I'm here. I'll help you feed her' Alex confirmed making me feel a little better about things.

John handed me the baby as he wandered away, and stopped quickly to have a chat with Richard in the corridor.

Alex lead me into a room where there was a bed that I sat in the middle of and she heated up the formula we had given her, and I watched intently as she prepared and warmed up the bottle, then handed it to me.

'As long as she gets the food I don't think she'll be too bothered' Richard chuckled, poking his head in the door and sat on the bed with me.

I think he kind of felt like a spare part at the moment. But I ignored that and held Autumn happily in my arms then waited for Alex to remove the tube from her nose.

She didn't like it at all. It was the first time I had heard the poor girl properly cry, it must have been so uncomfortable as she removed it from her nose making her all fussy, but as soon as the bottle was in her mouth she latched on and took the milk without so much as a fuss.

'I didn't think she would have a problem' Alex chuckled. 'I'll leave you too it. Just feed her a quarter of the bottle then lift her up and burp her' she instructed.

I never thought I would need teaching how to feed a baby and in the end I didn't really, because I seemed to pick it up so fast.

Before I had even fed her half the bottle I was managing to feed her practically expertly on my own, as Alex left.

'Just like her Mother then. Eats everything' Richard smirked, sitting at the end of the bed.

'Do you want a go?' I asked.

I could see his face and he clearly wanted a go. I didn't really mind, I'd have plenty of opportunity to feed her myself.

My Gran had insisted on telling me that. Reminding me that the 4am feeds were not all they cracked up to be.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, I'll have loads of chances to feed her' I smirked handing her over and he placed the bottle in her mouth.

I never really thought of Richard as a paternal with feelings kind of person but he was doing pretty well. Especially since when I met him he was kind of an ass and I never in a million years thought I would be friends with him, let alone him actually be my boyfriend that there's no way I could live without him now. Even if we weren't together.

'Look she's fallen asleep'

'I can see that. She looks comfy' I said as I watched him place her back in the cot, and we watched her sleep for a little while.

'I see you managed it then?'

'She didn't want all of it. Is that a bad thing?'

'Not at all. The fact that she's drank over three quarters of the bottle is impressive. She seems pretty settled as well. If she feeds like that all of today she could be on for an early release. We could have her out of here tomorrow'

'She's not even near her due date yet' I mumbled.

'Exactly. She's done really well considering. You'll have a nurse come round and check on you once a week for three months because she was premature but then you have to take her for check ups and visits yourself' she explained. 'If you have any questions feel free to ask me but she'll also be very happy to help you out' she assured leaving us alone.

'Well looks like she'll be out of here three days earlier than planned. John had better get his backside into gear and build the flat packs' Richard joked.

'Mm. She won't even sleep in the cot yet anyway. She'll be in the basket in my room' I pointed out.

'And your taking her home to yours? With your Dad for a bit?'

'Just a little while I guess. Just until I know what I'm going to do. The Maitland's move out in two weeks and so Dad said he wants to decorate the spare room so she can have her own room when we're there'

'Can I -- Can I come and stay with you for a bit?' He asked nervously, standing at the edge of the cot next to me. 'I can be really helpful, and I don't mind doing night feeds while you sleep' he said in his defence.

I swivelled round and smiled. 'Of course you can - as long as you want too. I wouldn't want you to feel like you have too' I whispered, as he cupped his face.

'No. I want too' he whispered back, pressing a gentle and soft kiss to my lips and then moved to my neck.

'Richard' I breathed heavily into his shoulder. 'Not in front of Autumn' I chuckled, as he pushed me back and smirked.

'Right' he grinned. 'In going to go home then' he shrugged.

'Why?'

'Because she could be discharged tomorrow, so I need to pack a bag' he grinned running from the room, after kissing my forehead.

'Silly man' I chuckled, looking down at Autumn as she was already fussing and being demanding even in her sleep, but I just stroked her little cheek to calm her down.

I can do this.

I can be a Mother.