"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 388 - "Bad Luck..."

Chapter 388 - "Bad Luck..."

Clara's PoV

'Morning' John smirked as he walked on to the ward and into the room that Autumn was in, and handed me a change of clothes which I was actually really grateful for - I'm not going to lie - and then handed me my laptop.

'Oh. Life saver. I'm so behind now' I scoffed, knowing that I wanted to be up at 6am this morning essay writing.

'Easy Clara. Autumn's not well. Surly you can apply for an extension or something now? You can't deny that she's ill' John scoffed.

'I can't John. I just need to get on with it. She's fine anyway. Will you watch her while I go and get a coffee?' I mumbled, jumping up, and leaving the room.

'Get little one. You hang in there okay?' John chuckled, as she wrapped her tiny hand around John's ginormous thumb. 'Hmm. That's quite a grip you've got going there' he laughed.

'Hello?'

'Oh hi. John. Clara's girlfriend. Autumn's Dad' John said feeling a great sense of accomplishment by being actually able to say.

'Of right. Well I need to take Autumn for an x Ray again. Need to see and confirm my diagnosis' Hannah said.

'What's wrong with her? Any ideas?'

'I'm just confirming pneumonia really. She's very wheezy. Very pale. Most likely to be an asthmatic later on as well. Either way. Where's Clara?'

'I'm right here'

- - -

'Come on little one. We need to get you this scan' I said trying to get her to co operate.

I don't blame her if I'm honest. It's not nice having x rays. And she's absolutely full of wires and masks.

'Clara. Your the one distressing her. She's only little' Hannah said, trying to remove me. 'We'll just sedate her, it won't be a problem' she assured,

'Your not sedating my baby' I snapped at her, as suddenly things got on top of me way more than they needed too and it was absolutely the worst time in the world for it to happen.

I knew it was coming. It's been brewing for weeks - especially during exam time, I've been going insane.

'Don't touch her. I'm taking her home' I scoffed, wanting to get as far away from here as possible.

'Clara what the hell is happening?' John scoffed.

'They want to sedate her John. They want to sedate my baby so they can run one of their shitty scans' I yelled, tears running down my cheek as to clung to Autumn's tiny body.

'Hey, Clara, your squashing her. Please let me have her and you go out with Lilly?' He suggested.

'No. Your on their side. I don't want her being put to sleep'

'It's not going to hurt her Clara. I promise it's not going to hurt her' Hannah said as John took Autumn's crying and struggling for breath body out of my arms, and placed her back down.

Hannah quickly pushed the mask over her face and then John pulled me out of the room.

'I can't leave her. She can't be alone. She'll be scared' I panicked.

'Clara breathe. Go with Lilly. I've got this'

'You know nothing about her. She's my baby' I yelled.

'Correction. Our baby now. First official duty as her Dad. Getting her this e Ray. Get outside' he said throwing me out of the room, a crying, snivelling, wheezy mess.

'What's going on?' Lilly scoffed, taking hold of my shoulders as I collapsed onto her arms.

- - -

'But why her lil? Why me?'

'It's just bad luck'

'It's not bad luck. Cancer is bad luck. Death is bad luck. Illness is bad luck, pregnant at 18 is bad luck. All these things happened to me. All this shit - every single bit of it has happened to me' I yelled at her in the bathroom as she tried her best to calm me.

Even now all that was in the back of my mind was the fact that I hadn't proof read my essays.

'This is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to have to be relying on other people again and after a promise I make to myself for a week - I am'

'Hey. Shush. Okay? She's going to be alright' John suddenly said from behind me.

'How do you know? This is just an example if something else I've fucked up. I couldn't keep her safe in me - what chance did I ever have when she was out of me?'

'This was nothing to do with your care. She's just easily able to pick things up, and chicken pox is just a natural illness in life. Don't over think it' John said, turning me around to look at him and cupped my face. 'You have got to chill'

'Chillax Clara' Richard says appearing out of nowhere.

'Go away Richard. You are so the last person that I want to see right now' I snapped.

'He's going to sit with Autumn while I take you home to get some sleep. Some stress dress sleep' John said.

'I can't possibly go home. I need to think things through. I need to be with her. I can't keep dumping her off with other people'

'What is the obsession with this? We wouldn't help if we did t want too Clara' Lilly said. 'I love little Autumn'

'Me too. She's my little Richard junior' Richard shrugged.

'Just go away please. All of you' I scoffed.

'Maybe you should all leave?' John suggested.

'That goes for you as well' I said looking away from him.

'What? What did I do?'

'Nothing. I don't need any of you here. I can look after my own daughter'

'Not after that little outburst in the x Ray room you can't' John snapped.

'I said go away and leave me alone' I said snapping again and storming back into the room where Autumn was hooked to even more wires now and happily asleep.

She looked so comfortable like this and peaceful.

Why can't I look after her?