"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 322 - "Pass the Baby..."

Chapter 322 - "Pass the Baby..."

Clara's PoV

'So we're doing this then? Your going to do this? We're keeping her?' He asked shocked, with a lot of confusion on his face.

'I am' I responded making his face fall. 'We are' I Corrected then walked towards the ITU.

'Where are you going?'

'I want to see her' I demanded. 'I've spent the last 4 days being an absolute idiot and have missed out on the most precious moments of her life. I need to go and see her' I said walking straight in.

I had no idea where she was, but easily found her. She had been moved in the unit but was dressed once again and had less wires in her after the scan.

'We can't know that she won't relapse. But she's okay. She's ready to come out of the incubator and go into a cot' she smiled. 'It's up to you two what you do. You can stay up in one of our units with her. Be in the same room with her for the next few days that she's here but you have to pay. Or you can go home and have her here. You can still stick around all day with her so it won't be a problem' Alex said giving me my options and suddenly things weighed just on me again.

I was once again in charge of decisions and that seems to be the bit about all this that I don't like. It frightens me to have to grow up and take control over another persons life.

'Umm. We'll visit. It's easier that way' I smiled, as I hovered over the cot.

It was adorable with a white mattress and she was pretty well wrapped in a pink blanket and not too much to my surprise she was wearing the bow ties onesie that John had bought in. 'Bow ties annoyingly suit her' I mumbled touching her little hand.

'You can pick her up now. She's in no danger anymore, your free to do as you please' Alex smiled but I couldn't for the life of me pick her up. I don't know why I was so scared.

I guess baby's can smell fear so maybe she just knew that I was scared of holding her.

'Do you want me to pass her to you?' Alex smirked.

I nodded hesitantly as she slipped the baby out of the cot and into my open arms. I froze pretty much where I was standing and held her.

She didn't do much. More just stayed in that position, but she was very much awake which made me even more nervous. Her tiny eyes were looking at me as if I was some crazy person.

'Walk around with her. You won't drop her. Babies are very resilient. You'll be surprised what they can cope with. If you walk around you might relax, and if you relax, she'll relax' Alex smiled so I took her advice and wandered the little room we were in.

She wasn't the only baby in here of course, and I wasn't the only one holding a baby. There was three other women and one Dad in here.

I was heart broken to hear that his wife had died 10 days after giving birth to their son who was born two months early. I didn't think things like that happened anymore but he managed o explain how she had cancer and it was very likely to happen.

He didn't seem too choked up about it because apparently they were very prepared for it to happen.

I guess I could relate, but he showed me how was best to get a fussy baby to go to sleep, and he seems pretty knowledgable but he already had twin 4 year olds. I felt pretty bad for him knowing that he has to raise these three children without them really knowing their Mum, and for the first time since I had given birth I was kind of glad that I had decided to keep her.

I was glad that she was mine.

After about half an hour of holding she relaxed enough in my arms that I had rocked her to sleep, and I quite liked that I had done that.

Getting to see her little face go to sleep.

'You know she was focusing really
Intently on you there' John smirked as he walked in the room, finding me curled up on the chair in the corner. He had Lilly and Richard with him actually and I wondered how he had managed to get all of them in with him.

'We didn't know you were going to have her' Lilly smirked, running a finger on her tiny cheek.

'Mother bonding time I think it's called. She has to stay in until September 10th Alex thinks' I said in a whisper not wanting to disturb her sleep.

'You really shouldn't have let her go to sleep Clara. She was on a clock' John laughed.

'Huh?'

'Babies need schedules, and she was on one. Don't worry though, we go home tonight and it's the poor nurses that have to deal with her out of pattern sleep now'

'Oh. I didn't know' I said feeling a bit awkward about it. A mother should know her own babies schedule.

'Don't panic. You'll get it' Richard said desperately hovering over me.

'You want to hold her don't you?' I smirked.

'I haven't gotten to yet, as her godfather and potential other Father figure I think I deserve the right' he mumbled.

'Who said anything about godfather?' I grinned making a joke out of it but happily gave her up and watched him cradle the sleeping baby.

'I just figured seeing as I was the saviour of all this, I deserve the privilege of godfather' Richard shrugged now with a pout on his face.

'Of course you are' I said slapping his arm lightly and standing up to stretch.

I realised I was extremely hungry. I hadn't really eaten since mine and Richards hospital picnic a few days ago.

'Come on Clara. Come home. John will stay' Richard said, hugging me tight and pulling me close to him, after giving her up and handing her over to John.

'You sure?' I yawned.

'Yeah. Who needs sleep?' John chuckled passing her over to Lilly. It was like pass the baby in this room. First to Richard then to Lilly then John had a cuddle before she was finally put back in the cot, and Richard took my hand.

'Come on. Let's feed you and get some sleep' Richard smirked, pulling me out of the ITU.

But I found myself missing her.