"Your Dying... But I love you..." - (Chapter 200 onwards)

Chapter 270 - "Lover Boy..."

Chapter 270 - "Lover Boy..."

Clara's PoV

'And how long do you propose I have to stay here?' John muttered.

'A week at least. I want to keep an eye on your heart. Like we say it's beating pretty slowly'

'That's probably due to the amount of vodka I consumed not too many hours ago' he said rolling his eyes. Admitting to himself that he had been drinking a lot of alcohol before going to that activity day.

Probably the reason for the punch up.

Alcohol can do great things...

'It's going to be a while before your up and walking again John. That ankle was bad. We've operated but it could be weeks before you can walk' she said leaving John something to think about before he went back to sleep.

- - -

'John' I whispered poking his cheek.

Probably wasn't a good plan to poke an injured mans cheek. But it woke him up, and startled him when he saw my face.

It had taken me ages to get myself up here. Every time I tried to get in they kept throwing me out until I had to just say that he was the Father of my child for them to let me in to see him.

It might not be true but I had to do something.

'Jesus Clara. Don't you know not to wake a dead man?' He mumbled sitting up, and I climbed on the side of the bed.

'Yeah. But your face was pretty priceless' I laughed.

'Hmm' he muttered and we stayed in a silence for a moment.

'John about your proposal. Your realise I don't want to get married right? I don't want to say no because it sounds so harsh and definite but I'm only 19. And I hate to point out the obvious - but I still haven't forgiven you. I love you but I'm not ready to be with you again'

'I know. I'm not sure if I was drunk when I asked that or if I truly meant it but I wouldn't mind marrying you' he shrugged.

'I meant what I said. I'm 19' I shrugged. 'Yes I'm having a baby... But I'm 19' I mumbled again.

'I understand. I'm not going to run away from all this because you said no. I have a duty of care'

'Look... I know we won't know for definite for a few months but even if it isn't yours - it's still yours. I was going to make that decision but then you went and confused me and asked me to marry you and then it got complicated and I'm with Richard I just never got a chance. Then you disappeared into thin air causing all this and almost killing yourself and --' I stopped.

I didn't want to make any accusations but I had to know for sure.

'I didn't mean to cause this' he muttered.

'I know...'

'God. This is all my fault' he mumbled.

'Too right it is' I muttered, agreeing with him. I wasn't going to shade the fact that we were in this mess because he was an idiot.

'What's up?' He asked, as I moved off the bed. I couldn't believe that he hadn't actually asked.

'Did you umm -- had you been drinking?'

'Are you accusing me of causing all this on purpose?' He scoffed.

'No. But you pushed him in the ditch right? Why?'

'I was getting angry. I'd had a drink. Before I left. It was stupid. And then the team wanted to win so badly that they would do anything to get rid of him and it all got a little complicated' he muttered trying to make me feel sorry for him. Because I don't.

'Well at least your okay. Some people aren't'

'I've broke my foot though' he scoffed. As if that was anything to what Richard was going through right now?

'Are you serious? You haven't actually asked how your best friend is?'

'Oh here we go again. Lover boy is more important than me once again' he said rolling his eyes.

'You cannot be serious. I knew you could be selfish but seriously'

'I know you think he's better than me Clara. I know you think he can give you what I can't but you can't be with him'

'Oh my god you are? You haven't actually asked? You don't actually care? You realise your best friend is in intensive care upstairs. If he doesn't make through the next 12 hours and a serious operation anything could happen... And you fucking caused it. If you really don't care... Then go Fuck your self. Because you realise he's in love with me too'

'Don't flatter yourself Clara' he said.

'It's true and in some ways he's right. I'm not sure if it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time but I'm pretty sure I'm living it' I snapped turning around.

'Clara wait. I didn't know he was in intensive care. Will he be okay?' He shouted.

'I don't know. But here's one thing for sure. He's my boyfriend now and there is nothing that you can do about it' I snapped storming away and slamming his door.

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

I couldn't seriously believe that he hadn't a care in the world about his best friend. Argument or not. 'Are you okay miss?'

'I'm fine' I said leaning against the wall for balance. I felt like I might collapse suddenly gasping for breath having had such an argument with him again.

'You should go to the maternity ward if your breathless'

'I'm not breathless. I'm fine. Mind your own business' I grunted storming away.

- - -

'Seriously that man is so bloody infuriating' I snapped to Lilly.

'He's been through an ordeal'

'We've all been through a Fucking ordeal and it's all his fault. I offer him everything he's wanted. Everything. He's got the kid. I've accepted that' I muttered.

'You didn't accept his proposal. I'm still confused about that'

'Me too. And I'm never accepting that proposal. I'm 19. I don't need a promise. I just need someone to look after me' I said selfishly.

'Clara. Stop calm down your going to run yourself into the ground' Lilly said holding my shoulders as I leant against the wall gasping for breath.

'Lilly. I never noticed it before-- but the baby hasn't moved since we can back from shopping'

'Clara don't overthink it. Please stop panicking' she said as I sat down and grabbed onto Lilly. 'Jane get someone to come and help her. She's a mess'

'It's just a panic attack' Jane muttered as Lilly looked down and followed my training eyes.

'Where's that blood coming from?' Lilly panicked, as my eyes widened.

'It's the stress isn't it? Oh my god John has killed my baby now as well' I cried making myself panic even more.

'Calm down Clara. Jane go and get someone, if she's bleeding at almost 20 weeks it could be serious' Lilly yelled.

'Lilly I can't loose my baby again. It would kill me. I've made it so far' I sobbed.

- - -

Just a small side note that if you really enjoy my depressing and dramatic writing go check out my new book "Recovery..." ;) (Basically a Whouffle with Clara practically on her death bed - is only going to be a short story ;)