I'm so bad at this life thing. I was going to get the recording done today, and the editing done as soon as possible. But that doesn't seem to be the case. The controller will be dead soon, so that further pushes the ability to record, I feel all shakey from lack of sleep, and Brain is here. So right now everything is wrong. I keep thinking I'm seeing things, when they aren't there. I need sleep and pushing that back isn't helping me. Big yawns, big yawns. I am so sleep deprived. And now I want to play Zetsubou No Shima. I want to try the easter egg again. I need sleep. Yet I want to write. I need to sleep damnit. Sorry. I'm just mad at myself for pushing what I need aside for what I want to do. Like I said, I'm bad at this whole life thing. Somethings bothering Jannessa, Ashely is going through some sort of friend crisis, James is morally depressed, and I'm sure bruce just doesn't care for me. I'm just way too tired for all this right now. I only get 1 to 3 hours of sleep every 20 to 28 hours. Why do I do this to myself. I'm slowly killing myself, for what? A false dream? A false hope? I'm sorry. None of it is false. I know that much. If it was then there would be no gain to it. There would only be loss. Keeping things hidden is a loss. Gving things is a gain. Even if those are just words.
I'ma try to go asleep. If I don't I'll force myself onto the Playstation alone just to record for thirty minutes and make a twenty minute video. If I do sleep I'ma puch the video to Thursday. Next Tuesday, even if I have a sword going through my heart I will make a video. I don't care for the affect it will have on me. It will exist.
Good night, hopefully...
