okay? today was nothing but green, wind, anger, depression, and a stoplight. i'll tell you this. all i really can remember exactly is a red stoplight with me on a corner looking out at the world. i was on my bike and i just remember wondering "why am i here?" i didn't know where i was. i turned around rode my bike for four minutes until i got to a park. then i realized where i was and i started heading back here to the trailer park. i put my bike away in the shed got inside and got on my tablet. i read the update that i just deleted and immediately thought, "oh dear." no, i'm not going anywhere. for twenty minutes psychotic Kevin was in control. any longer and i would be gone. riding my bike somewhere i have no clue. well i do remember a train of thought before i was at the stoplight. it was mostly about Jannessa. and very little about me. all i was thinking about, well all i remember thinking about, was what would Jannessa do if i ran away. then i see the stoplight then i turned back. well, i'm never doing that again. I'm Pooped. don't worry about me, i'm just tired. ah poop.
