i think i'm done talking for a long while...i...i just don't want to shut anyone out again...even though i'll be shutting everyone out...at this point i'll just be shutting Jannessa out pretty much every month now...i never should have said anything before...i should have never even answered her that day...i know i'll never be able to talk to her...i can't look her in the yes for the few times i've seen them...not even in her picture...i just cant look at her eyes...be it in a picture...or in person...something inside me just cant do it...well...actually everytime i look at her eyes...I See The First Person That Might Love Me...but i keep pushing her out when i feel she might get to close to my heart...i shut her out to stop myself from loving her even more...i will go to the ends of the universe to show just how much i like you...Jannessa...if i could just shut up...i know you wont be able to talk to me everyday...you don't even have to talk to me at all anymore...the more you do...the more i love you...you never have to talk to me again...no one has too...i don't want to be alone again...but everything is telling me i'll be alone because of what i say...you don't have to bother yourself with me anymore...you can stop wasting your time with me...you can stop talking to me now...but i will keep counting the days since you made your promise...it's all i have now...your promise is the first shred of proof that someone would waste their time because of me...your promise is the first time anyone has ever done that...i can't talk to you...my heart collapses everytime i see you...i know that no matter how hard i try i'll only go further and further away from you...you can stop now...you can stop reading these updates...you can push me out of your mind now...i never should have been there...i'm sorry i came into your life...i'll always like you...i'm really sorry i came into your life...i should have never came into your life...sorry you wasted so much of your time on me...i never should have entered your life...
