Every thing hurts. My arms hurt, the right side of my neck slightly hurts, and my left shoulder hurts. Why does pain hurt so much?
Retorical question.
Anyway with the last two days, which seem to have been four days. Four very long days. And throughout those two days I've had a few thoughts. Like four thoughts, each one circling around my head, waiting for the current thought to end so it can take it's place.
Those four thoughts? Each one circling Jannessa. And a question that Mom told me to ask a long while ago. A question that I've kept myself from asking for a few months. Two reasons why. One: I'd do nothing that involves the information that she'd give me if she were to answer the qestion. Two: the question is sort of embarrassing in a way.
One of the other thoughts were simple. I hope she's having fun, wherever she is, and I hope she is enjoying her summer. I know I'm not. I can hardly watch what I want to watch, because everyone has there own things to do on the TVs. Bruce spends all day either on the computer or Xbox. Forcing me not to watch Arrow in my room. I can't even watch Arrow in the living room, because Netflix doesn't work out there. And it doesn't work on my tablet. So the only thing I can wwach Arrow is on the Xbox in my room because it has Netflix on it. So does the living room, but I'm not going to go on the Xbox in the living room.
Anyway back to what I was talking about. The third thought was again about Jannessa. But not this world Jannessa. The Jannessa in my books. Though I can't really say what the thought was about, well I can say that it involves another character named Isabelle, I can't say what it has to do with Isabelle. The forth thought is again about book Jannessa. And that thought I waved away. That thought would have killed another character, one that can not die. If that thought were to be put into the books then, well, you can say that multiple charaters killed. Not because of Jannessa, because of something that would have happened to her.
It's only the third of July. Tomorrow is the fourth. I'll be hearing coutless fireworks. I'm not interested to see the fireworks. I'm not interested in my birthday either. Though when I do turn sixteen I'm getting a job as son as I can. Mainly so I can start saving up money so I can move out of this place as soon as possible. I would hardly bring anything with me. Just my belongings and that would be it. While I work I would probably YouTube as well. I'd go under the name of StolenGiant of course. I'd then write when I have the time then see if I can get them pubished, like an actual book. With an actal cover and everything. Though I don't really think anyone would like what I write. Honestly I think I'd rather keep the Pure Energy books to myself. And write other books for my Wattpad. Mainly because if I did write the Pure Energy books and publish them on here then you'd already know how it ends and starts. You wouldn't buy the book because you would already know the story. So honestlly I think I would maybe keep the books away from Wattpad, but that I don't know yet. I already have a relese date for the first book. Uhg why does this have to be so hard? My book would never do good enough on Wattpad for anything to happen. I've looked around and some books on Wattpad do end up getting there own paperback form, or something like that. And I know that my books would never do that good.
Jannessa thinks I can make something good, and I haven't even asked anyone else. I'm not going to ask anyone that I live with. Honetly their oppinions don't matter. It's either yes or no. And since they are family and since what happened they've been nicer. There oppinions to what I can do mean nothing. Sure it'd be nice if they said yes. But why seek any form of approval from those that you live with. If it is something fine like writing a book it will most likely be a yes, but if it is to change who you are it would be a no. If it is to go on a journey to some country so you can have an experiance it would be a yes with the added fact that they would expect some kind of souvenir, like some sort of payment for letting you go to wherever you went. If it is to move to the only place you can afford and that happens to be in some place where crime happens every day it would most likely be a no. Even though in every town in this world most likely has crime every single day. Be it a murber, a robbery, or a kidnapping, or something ese. It would always be a no. If you were to seek anything from your family there are four answers. Yes, but you have to bring them something. A normal yes. A no. And a definatly not. Jannessa's family doesn't want her to talk to me. And that is because I said something that I shouldn't have, and adults are not keen to accepting apologies from any kid that isn't there own. And they won't care. They'll never accept an apology. Not from me or anyone. Damnit!
