the Kevin is back! and i'm not going to do another stupid thing! hopefully! i say, Other Kevin is one lier, i have no idea what "masterbait'' means, no clue. well i do now, i searched it up, and i read that definition for about a minute, i have no idea what that means, so Other Kevin lied about that. if you know what that means and you can explain what it means, don't tell me. save it for another time. today was one of those great days that make no sense why they are great. but i'm in much a better mood then the past seven days. note to self, never let Other Kevin talk to Jannessa, ever again. okay, so mark that as the 1st thing all Kevins (except me) are banned from doing. okay, so now what, want me ramble about something. i really want to ramble on about something right now. like i so badly want to do it. i haven't rambled on about something for a while, well i just did. i was rambling on about Jannessa to Jannessa. tell me if that is weird or stupid, go ahead, do it, i don't care. even if you were to call me a stupid useless ****bag i don't care! i am in such an unusual good mood. i don't care anymore much about the Imagine Dragons concert. i don't even want to go, mainly because i wont go with Jannessa, and that the concert was the main main source of me shutting myself. so i think not going to the concert would save me from shutting myself out again, and a terrible headache. i want to ramble about something, what to ramble about? suggestions? i know there is currently only one person still reading this, but do you have any suggestions. or any future readers. come on, give me a subject to ramble on about. i need to ramble about something, please give a suggestion. i don't care what, but give me suggestion if you can think of one. i want to ramble, and test this new keyboard. i'm already slamming my head on it and getting sentences from it, i'm not really slamming my head on the keyboard. i'm just typing so fast i can hardly even read what i'm typing. yes, i'm looking at the keyboard. mainly because it doesn't put out light, i do look at what i'm writing to see if i did a bad, but other than that i'm writing very fast, and very good. hey! i could just ramble on about how i want to ramble on about something. well i've been doing it so far, why not continue?! i mean if you were to give a suggestion i would put it in the next update and i'll say who the suggestion is from, like before i start rambling i'll say what i'm going to ramble about and i'll put down the name of who gave me the suggestion. i might just do all of the suggestions, from now and the future. but i wont do it every day, some days i wont be in the mood to just go on and on and on and on about like let say, music. some days i wont be in the set mood, unlike today, to ramble on about something. right now i'm in the bathroom listening to music, and the song that's on right now is Sad Song by We The Kings and Elena Coats. sometimes i can go into an Irish accent. i wont be in control of it, but if i'm in a mood i can just go Irish out of nowhere. one second i'll be normal, then Irish out of nowhere. what was i talking about? who cares?! i don't because i lost track on what i was talking about. have a great day person reading this book, for you may not know, in some time lady luck may just find her way into you, i know she has not run into me yet. if she did then Jannessa would be able to go to the concert with me.
...
there...there may...there may be another time...another time to fail...DAMNIT!!! IF ONLY I HAD GIVEN HER THE DATE OF THE CONCERT WHEN I FIRST ASKED HER!! DAMN ME TO HELL!! great, now i'm crying. this is all my fault. if only i had asked "Hey, do you want to go to a concert with me on the 18th of October?" *******...ah ****...okay i very much still care for that concert. but **** me! oh ***** ******* ****** ****! please let there be another chance. maybe that time she can go with me to a concert. or have Imagine Dragons get caught up a day in traffic or something. life really does love to shit on me. doesn't it? everything good always crashes and burns. like this concert. if only i had said the date it was on. you have no idea how many tears are falling out of my eyes. i make mistakes, but that would be the biggest mistake of my life, no it wasn't a mistake, it was a failure. which i am. please let there be a next time. please... this is just a damn journal! there will never be a next time! there has never been a next time! this was the only time i could do anything to possibly spend time with Jannessa. but i'm too fucking stupid! of course i would fuck it all up! i always fuck it all up! cause that's what i am, a fuckup! i've always been a fuckup, and i'll only be a fuckup! why am i such a fuckup? i wish i could go back and redo that day, so i wouldn't be such a fuckup. if i could go back in time and redo just one thing, it would be that question. that's the only thing i would ever change, to not be a fuckup...
