i feel much worse. very much worse. doesn't help that i'm being forced to go to the beach tomorrow. i had no chance to sleep at all today. i wish i had. i was stuck doing chores today. my ankle hurts, my mind is going all over the place, and i just don't feel good. now i'm stuck watching bruce play a Star Wars game. good for me, if i was a Star Wars fan. sure i like Star Wars, but frankly i was never a fan. you see everyone here loves Star Wars, loves it. i don't like things i'm forced to like. i'm never allowed to like anything they don't like. i'm not really allowed to love anything either. i'm not allowed to think, love, i'm not allowed to do anything. anytime i say "i think" i get yelled at, every single time. i'm not really allowed to be human most of the time. if anything, i'm a burden. always have been a burden. always will be a burden. always have, always will be a burden. i'm a burden to these people. i'm a burden at school. i'm a burden to Jannessa. i mean like now it feels like i gave to make an update later in the day, then she'll say something, it feels as if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. as if she want to forget me like everyone else. i wouldn't blame her. I Want To Forget I Exist Too. but i'm me, how can i forget myself?
