i can't deal with school anymore. i can't, i just...i just can't. i'm not turning anything in. i'm not doing any work. i'm not doing anything. i'm mainly forcing myself to go so i won't be yelled at by these people. and for a false hope. Jannessa is going to say no, i know it. i keep saying i hope she says yes, i do, but i know she'll say no. i'm done saying "i hope she says yes" and "if she says yes". it's a flat out no. i knew it would be a no from the beginning, but for a reason i know i still asked her. the reason being i like her, and i want to spend some time with her, cause i'll always be too shy. i'll always be too scared. she probably hates me at this point, the only reason she somewhat talks to me now is a bet. that's right, isn't it? it's a bet! you only talked to me because you want to win a bet! that's right! you don't care! you never did! it was always a bet! what do you get if you win? 10 dollars? 15? 20? 30? maybe something else like a new phone? don't bother answering, you'll just say it isn't a bet and that you do care, won't you? if you say it wasn't a bet then i'll know that it was a bet. it was obviously a bet. after so many years if being alone. so many years of being hated, uncared for, then this random girl suddenly cares about me? you don't care! you never did! all you cared for was what you get when you win your bet! why did i even ask you if you'd like to go to the concert in the first place?
