they're arguing again. not the voices in my head, no not them. mom and dad are arguing. they've been arguing for about an half hour. yell arguing. they are mostly arguing. it hurts me. i may hate them, but i can't handle fighting. be it with words or with fists. i can't take it. whenever wrestling is on in the living room i can't handle people fighting each other. no matter why they are fighting, i can't take it. it hurts my heart to watch people beat other people up, and it hurts when i hear people arguing. something inside of me blames me for whatever they are arguing about. i don't want to fight. i really don't ever want to fight someone else. if (and that's a really, REALLY big if) i were to ever get married i would never try and fight. i would listen to who ever i'm married to. if they want to do something, i'll see to it that it's done. but if they are in some kind of trouble i'll stand in the way. no matter what kind of trouble. i hate standing by as i watch someone else suffer from something. it hurts my heart. it truly does. i'll only fight if it is to protect someone i love or something good.
there is a possibilty that i might have Pink Shoes for October. why? well someone i sit next to in my last mod asked me if i would wear pink shoes throughout October. why? because October is breast cancer awareness month. and the color mostly used to show for it is pink. but they said that he might not get them, but frankly i would honestly like to wear pink shoes throughout October if i get made fun of (if he does get the shoes) i'll just say "It's for a reason" and continue going to where i'm going. i really do want those Pink Shoes. i hope he gets them.
