So the Imagine Dragons' Origins experiance just ended. And I'll tell you this, it was just what I needed. Exspeacially after last night, where I was crying like a baby. Now, if you didn't read it, well, I watched a video, and said that I realized something. That something is, and I quote, "Jannessa doesn't like me" yeah, I wasn't in a good mood.
Here, I just took it down and published it again. I made it on the computer so I don't know gives it problems to mobile users or something, but it is there for you to read. Now before you do go off and read it, read this first. Whoa, that was a thing. My tablet just lagged badly and unpublished the last Update then republished it. That's new. Anyway, read this first, or read the other first, it's up to you.
You here? Yeah? Okay. Now if you just read it you know that I was, well, crying badly. It was the first time in a year that I had saliva leak out of my mouth while I was crying. Last time that happened was October of last year. Anyway, so there were a few things that lead to that emotional breakdown yesterday. Bad Liar came out, that made me cry because it's another song that describes me, I had to write one of my favorite characters' death. That was not fun. They were like in the top three of my favorites of my characters. Then I had to kill off another character in the same chapter. Not one of my favorites, but I liked them. Then the next chapter I killed another one of my favorites. I'm not saying who, that just ruins the surprise. And I'm not saying which book either. Oh and a chapter before those two I killed another one. It just was not my day. Then I had to write a very emotion moment where another character died. A breaking heart moment. So that was four characters in one day, just a few hours before I made yesterday's Update. I watched a movie, I forget what though, that made me sad, then I watched some anime, they killed one of my favorite characters in there. Yesterday was just filled with death and heartbreak. When I was writing yesterday's Update I remember the physical pain I was in. My heart actually hurt. I was so stupid yesterday. And when I watched that video and that thought crossed my mind, well, you know where that went. I didn't sleep that night. And when I did sleep, which was late in the morning, I only saw darkness. And I could fell a deep pain. It was weird. Almost like I was on mushrooms. Like the oddly color ones that make you feel all weird. I never had an oddly colored mushroom, just so you know. I've seen it in a game. Anyway, yesterday was not my day. I'll tell you that.
I don't know if Jannessa doesn't like me the way I like her, nor do I really care at this point. I'm so absorbed by my world that this one, the real one, and mine are sort of blending. I had a dream the other day where I talked to Kevin. Kevin Dillis, or Blue, whatever you want to call him. And I mean it was us, actually talking. I was on his mountian petting Poly and everything. It was amazing. I could feel the breeze. I still feel it. We talked for what felt like days. And when I woke up I remembered what he told me, I still do, and oddly enough I hold his words close to my heart. "Time is all it takes, Kevin. Don't rush. Time will tell if Jannessa will like you back, and time will tell if you get that opertunity. Just because you want it to happen, don't try to rush it. Don't cry over it. Don't mope because of a single thought. None of what you think will matter. Ecspecially when you can't even be near her or even talk to her. None of it matters. Just wait patiently. All in due time my friend. All in due time."
It's funny to me. My own creation gave me life advice, in a dream mind you. In a dream. It's funny to me. I don't know why I didn't care for it yesterday, maybe I was already in pain due to the amount of death I had to write and saw. I don't know. Near the end of the dream, Jannessa, my character, not the real one, came and talked for a bit before I fell asleep in that dream. When I woke up I expected to find myself in their company. The dream felt so surreal. It actually pains my heart to say that it was only a dream. In the dream I cut my finger, and when I woke up I had the same cut on the same finger. It was faded almost as if it was healed. It's gone now.
Anyway, Jannessa, if you are reading this right now, I'm so so SO sorry for the last Update. It's not in my right to say if you like me or not. It's just not there. It's not in my place. Well, the corner that is my bed. I have to clean my bed. Paper and dice are all over. Anyway, I'm so sorry Jannessa. Forgive me if you will, don't if you want to, whoa, that just sounds mean. Anyway, do what you will, it's you after all. Have a good evening Jannessa, or morning, or night. Whenever your reading this I hope you have a good one. A good week even. I'd say month, but frankly it doesn't quite last that long. It goes for a week then that hope withers. Those words wither. It's not me saying something bad, just I've seen stuff like that happens. After a week or two the good goes away and whole lot of bad catches up. So have a good week Jannessa, and everyone else reading, and I hope the next Update will not have another emotional breakdown. Anyway, goodbye, have a good week, and until next time.
