One Direction preference

101. He's Marrying Someone Else Part 4

Harry - you wiped your eyes again, remnants of tear still scaling as you pushed on your front door, wedging it open. You dropped your purse and jacket in the foyer, walking slowly, kicking off your heels and tossing them over the couch. You lay yourself down on it when you could, fighting yourself to want to fall asleep, and forget the evening. Your eyelids flickered, and it all came out, you wriggled your limbs to get comfy and scowled down to one of the pillows, consciousness some filtering stream as it fell down and you fell asleep.

A knock on the front door made you jump, awake, suddenly. You peered around, the house quiet and empty. Rain pouring outside made you peer towards the window. You groaned up to standing, knocks on the front door still sounding out. You ran a hand through your hair, and checked the time to see five hours later, walking slowly. 

"I’m coming," you mumbled out, opening the front door when you could. You stopped, Harry leant with one arm up against the frame, drenched from the rain, curls matted and dripping down his forehead, lips pink and eyes scanning, "Harry, what are you…"

"Why?" He shook the word out once. 

"What?" You furrowed your brow, "Harry, what… what are you doing here?"

"Why did you ask me if I think about that night? (Y/N), please, I need to know…"

"Harry, I…"

"Please," he took one step inside, so you took one back, "please, just…" he cringed down, shaking his wet clothes, "just… why? Why did you ask?"

"I… I don’t know," you managed, "Harry, I… you’re freezing. You’re… you’re drenched. You need to get out of those clothes," you tried to tug on his jumper, but he stumbled back. 

"I don’t care about the clothes," he made eyes to plead at you, "just tell me why you asked."

You sighed, knowing he’d fight, “because,” you found the words slowly, “I… I wanted to know if you think about that night, as much as…” you cast eyes down from his, before peering up to meet them, “as much as I do…” you scowled, feeling it all happen again. You turned quickly, to face away from him, willing back tears, “but you know, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter why I asked because you…”

"I do…" he cut you off, and still turned from him, you could only hear his breath and the rain pattering outside, "I do…" he murmured again, "think about that night, as much as…" he shook out laughter, still cold, "probably more than you do actually…"

"I doubt that," you tipped out carefully, turning back to face him, shadow of a smile playing on features you were almost afraid to let him see.

"You broke my heart that night, (Y/N)," he said it again, "you have no idea how much it hurt… I couldn’t breath, because you…" he swallowed, "you were looking at me and you had those eyes and I was so scared of what you were going to say, and then you said no…" he paused, stopping, eyes slipping to match a frown on his lips, before he asked you for the first time, "why’d you say no?"

Tears sprung at the corners of your eyes, “I… I don’t know,” you blurted out, “I was… I was afraid,” you started crying, tears spilling to your cheeks, “I was afraid of the intensity, I was… I was afraid of how much you wanted me, I…” you finally stopped, “I was… I was just afraid…”

"Why didn’t you just say that?" He stood, dripping in your foyer, scowling out, "God, why didn’t you just say that? We could’ve…" he stopped himself. 

"Could’ve what…" you finished for him, shaking, "could’ve been together. Harry, you’re getting married next week… no matter, what I say, that won’t change…"