22. Your Child Has Their First Hangover

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NIALL:  You’d heard Cole stumble in around 4:00 in the morning after being out with his friends, celebrating his birthday.  After a few more hours, you hear Niall shuffling around in bed next to you, getting up and heading for the door.  “What are you doing?” you ask groggily, glancing at the clock to see it’s only 7:08 in the morning.  “Are you sick?” comes your follow up question, knowing that your husband never sees 7:00am unless he absolutely has to.  “I’m not, but Cole will be…come on, this will be fun,” he tells you, quietly opening the door and entering the hallway.  You follow close behind, wondering what it is your husband has in mind.  As soon as he gets to Cole’s door, he throws it open, making sure it crashes loudly against the wall and booms out, “Good morning, Son!  It’s a beautiful morning - nice and sunny!  So how was your first night out as a legal drinker now?”  And with that, he throws open the shades and curtains to let to sunlight pour through the window.  Cole groans, trying to shield his eyes.  “Dad, are you insane?  Just let me-” Cole is unable to finish his sentence as a wave of nausea hits him and he grabs for the trash can.  “Niall…” you say warningly, but make no move to actually stop him.  “Let this be a lesson to you: going out drinking is fun once in a while, and yeah, you’re gonna get drunk and be hungover, but you are notgoing to make it a habit.  Do you understand me?”  “Yes, I understand you.  Now please get out and let me sleep this off.  Trust me, I don’t want to feel like this again anytime soon,” Cole assures, sounding absolutely miserable.  “Good, then my work here is done.  Come on, Baby, let’s go make a nice big breakfast of waffles and bacon and sausage and-“  “Oh my God,” Cole groans, cutting Niall off as he leans back over towards the trash can.  Niall smirks evilly as he exits the room, making sure to let the door slam behind him.  “You are a cruel, cruel man,” you inform him goodnaturedly.  “Yeah, but you gotta admit, that was funny.”

LOUIS:  “Look what the cat dragged in…” you muse as your daughter finally returns home early the morning after being out for the night celebrating her birthday.  “Is she home?” Louis calls from the basement.  You hear a few thuds as he undoubtedly crashes into several objects as he tries to get to the stairs and into the living room with the family.  “This sucks…” she grumbles, still wearing her sunglasses in the house and holding her head in her palm.  “At least you had a good time last night, it seems,” Louis says with a laugh.  “Want me to make you some coffee while you take a cool shower?” he offers.  “Thanks, Dad.”  “Anything for you, Baby Girl.”  She shuffles off to the bathroom while Louis makes his way to the kitchen.  He gets the coffee started for her and then you both sit at the table to wait.  When she emerges from her bedroom after getting clean pajamas on, she joins you both at the table.  “Oops…forgot the cups…” Louis notices, getting up to grab them out of the cabinet.  He places the saucers down first and the cups clank against them as he sets those down.  Lea winces a bit as the sounds pierce through her head.  Louis closes the cabinet with a loud bang, and as he turns around, he manages to bang his knee into the cabinets beneath the counter.  “Oh my God do loud noises always hurt this much when you’ve been drinking?  Dad, could you just chill out for two seconds?  God!” she snaps, lowering her head down into her crossed arms, pillowing it against the hard wood of the table.  “What did I do?” Louis whispers to you.  You roll your eyes and say, “Like you don’t know…  You’ve been hungover before; you know how it is.”  He just shrugs at this and pours the coffee into the mugs.  Lea takes hers and retreats to her bedroom, leaving you and Louis to exchange slightly amused looks in her absence.

LIAM:  After spending a night out with friends and drinking a little too much, Makenzie comes home and immediately passes out in her bed.  At about 3:30 in the morning, you hear her trying to make her way to the bathroom, and there’s no doubt in your mind what’s going on.  You pad your way down the hall to the bathroom and knock gently on the door.  “Kenz?  Everything ok?” you whisper just loud enough to be heard through the wooden door.  “I guess,” she moans out.  You open the door and poke you head in to check on her.  She’s hovering over the toilet looking terrible.  “I’m never drinking again,” she pouts.  “Yeah, I’ve said that a few times in my day…” you say with a laugh.  “Just don’t tell Dad?” she asks.  “This one will be our little secret, but if it starts happening a lot then I’ll let him deal with it, got that?”  She nods but immediately regrets it as the dizzyness overcomes her again.  You pull her hair back for her and rub her back, trying to make her feel a little better.  You hear a door creak open down the hall and soon Liam is standing in the doorway.  “So…you had fun I see,” he observes.  “Uh…I- I guess,” Makenzie stutters.  “It’s ok to say that you did, Kenz.  Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to the whole hangover situation.  I mean, have you met your uncles?” he asks with a laugh.  “So you’re not mad?” she questions.  “No, of course I’m not mad.  Why would I be mad?”  “I dunno…you don’t drink so I just thought you’d be disappointed in me that I drank so much tonight…I dunno…” she answers uncertainly.  “Honey, have you ever seen your Mum tip ‘em back?  Like mother, like daughter,” he says with a laugh, giving a small shrug as if to say “what are ya gonna do?”

ZAYN:  “I feel like I’m gonna dieeee,” Lane moans dramatically, lolling on the couch like a slob.  Zayn just laughs at this and pokes his head into the living room asking, “You know what will cure that hangover real fast?”  “What?”  “Mowing the lawn like I told you to do three days ago.  Bright skies, loud lawnmower…  It’s the perfect cure!”  “Somehow I doubt that,” Lane deadpans.  “Here, have some water, it’ll help rehydrate you,” you tell him, handing him the glass.  “Oh, come on!  You never get water for me when I’m hungover,” Zayn whines.  “You’re a grown man, you know better,” you say simply as you traipse back into the kitchen.  “Enjoy this while it lasts.  Hangover Number Two won’t be quite so nice,” Zayn warns.  “Trust me, Dad, this one’s not anything to brag about either.  My head feels like it’s about to explode.  “Hey, you wanna be treated like an adult and take advantage of the privilage of being old enough to drink?  Well, welcome to adulthood.  Drink like a responsible adult or don’t drink at all.”  “Dad, can you save the lecture for tomorrow please?  I really just want to bash my head against a wall right now…anything would make it feel better at this point.”  “Then consider this a verbal wall bashing,” he says with a smirk before continuing the rant.  “Your father has a point,” you pipe up as you enter the room with a small bowl of soup.  “Ha!  Yes!  Thank you,” Zayn shouts, excited to officially have you on his side.  “Dad, pleaseeee…” Lane groans, prompting Zayn to lower his voice a bit.

HARRY:  Bright and early the morning after Carson had been out at a party, you hear your back door clanging open.  “Harry.  Harry, wake up.  Someone’s coming into the house…  It can’t be Carson already, can it?” you stage-whisper.  “Yeah, sure.  I dunno,” is the only response you get as Harry rolls over to go back to sleep.  “Harry!” you admonish, smacking him over the head with a pillow.  “Alright, alright.  I’m up.  What’s going on?”  “Come on,” you reply, getting out of bed and heading for the hallway.  From the kitchen you can hear Lea’s voice saying, “Carson, come on, work with me here.  Just get to your bed and you can sleep all you want.”  “I feel awful,” Carson groans in response, and you can hear the movement of a young girl struggling to get a boy nearly twice her size into the other room.  “Hello there, Lea,” Harry states sternly, appearing in the hallway in front of her with you just to the side of him.  “Oh…hi, Mr. Styles.  I’m sorry if I woke you up, I was just-“  “I know what you were doing.  Thanks for bringing him home.  His Mum and I can handle it from here.”  Lea nods and leaves hastily, as Carson slumps down into a chair.  “You’re so hungover that you needed Lea to walk you into the house?” Harry asks in disbelief.  “Actually, if you want the truth, I think I might still be a little drunk,” Carson retorts.  “Not funny,” you say flatly, sticking your hands on your hips.  “Can I please just go to sleep and we can talk about this later?” he nearly begs.  “Absolutely not.  This is gonna be much more fun for your mother and I to make you suffer through it now,” Harry replies, scraping a chair out to take a seat kitty corner to Carson at the table.  Carson winces at the sharp sound of the chair against the floor.  Harry bites back a small laugh at his son’s expense, receiving a smack upside the back of the head from you.

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