Last time:

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Andy crawl to his car and open the door. I couldn't react fast enough when Andy grabbed a crow bar from his car and swing it.

"Dean, look out!" I screamed as the bar slammed into the side of his head
I stopped breathing. I couldn't stand up straight as my legs collapsed from our under me. Tears sprang to my eyes as I heard sirens in the distance.

This is all my fault, I thought as I put my hands over my eyes.

Memories, all of them flooded back to me. I remembers the first time I ever laid eyes on him:

I hadn't even noticed that I sat so that Dean would walk pass me. I prayed to god that he wouldn't notice me, but of course he did. He stopped when next to me and looked over smirking, obviously wishing for a slap, but I just pretended he wasn't theirs.

That was the last time I ever pretended he wasn't their. I started traveling with him and Seth and Roman. I got to know them all, but Dean was always the one I would come back to. I even told Dean my life story. The only people I could trust with it was the people I love.

I sat on the edge of a bed, staring at nothing as Dean walked in.

"Hey, you sure you're ok?"

I looked up, "Yeah, I'll be ok. Just gave me a little scare, that's all," I muttered.

He sat next to me on the bed, "If you want to talk about it we can."

I looked over at him, "It's nothing really... It was a long time ago

"Well, I heard when you talk to someone about something, it makes you feel better."

I sighed, "Ok, fine. When I was about 16, I went to this party." I started, Dean kept quiet as I continued, "And there was drinking at the party. There was this 22 year old there and he started, you know... Sweet talking me."

"Go on," Dean said when I paused for a few moments.

I took a deep breath, "He wanted me to go get a room with him, if you know what I mean, and I refused." I started shaking as I remembered, "He wouldn't hear it....he brought me upstairs and......raped me," I muttered the last words quietly.

Dean patted my back, "It couldn't have been that bad....."

I glared at him, "He had a knife. He threatened to kill me if I told anyone."

Dean realized he said something wrong, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

I interrupted him, "He took my virginity away, but that wasn't even the worse part. He got me pregnant."

Dean froze, "You have a kid?"

I ignored him, "When my mom found out she was so mad at me, she said I should just get an abortion, but I knew that it was wrong. I was actually getting excited about it.... But then I had a miscarriage."

Dean put his arm around my shoulder, I didn't push him away.

"After that I started cutting..... I didn't understand why all this was happening to me. I became majorly depressed and would pretty much lay with any guy that would ask. I didn't want to live anymore," I muttered, wiping tears from my eyes.

"But then Bryan came home. I knew Bryan had been wrestling, but I never really knew what it was. He got me into it and before long I couldn't stop watching it. I slowly stopped cutting and that's when I knew I wanted to be a wrestler," I rubbed my wrist with my finger, "Wrestling saved my life."

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