Chasing Dreams (Dropped)

Chapter 131: Love

For a series of seconds Natsumi pondered on Arthur's words. She stared at him softly locking onto his golden eyes only to be reminded of the sun. How it would glow endlessly and bask the world in warmth, a warmth she hadn't felt in a long time. 

Just seeing how firm Arthur's expression was reminded Natsumi of Ren. The way he'd get whenever he was determined to do something, and wasn't willing to back out. Seeing that determination was comforting, but also worried Natsumi somewhat. Cause people with an iron clad determination like that were usually the most dangerous.

Slowly Natsumi drew her eyes away from Arthur followed by her hands, still keeping her stoic frown. "Do you really think something like that is possible?"  Natsumi asked in a low tone now allowing her chilling stare to crawl back to Arthur's impeccable gaze. "A future without sin..."

Arthur's eyes didn't falter in the slightest in opposition to Natsumi's question "I do." his answer was simple but firm like an iron wall.

"Do you think something like that is possible after everything I've done?" Natsumi asked redefining her question to lock onto a single point. 

But just like before Arthur's answer was the same "I do." Arthur's golden eyes continued to shine brightly as if kissed by the sun itself. 

"Do you think something like that is possible after everything you'll do?" Natsumi asked once more seeking to see if his answer will change.

"I do-" Before Arthur could finish Natsumi soon interjected "I appreciate your confidence Arthur, in us...in our alliance but I want you to remember years of hate and suffering isn't going to be undone within a single day. Many people within Lupus hate heroes. Many of them have had their entire lives ruined by them, so it's through that sin that hate that gives them the strength to fight." Natsumi reminded.

Arthur folded his hands still not allowing Natsumi to leave his gaze "I know, but the same thing applies vice versa. There are many heroes who have had their lives changed due to what you or what your people have done. Even if rumors about Irene happen to not be true it still doesn't change the preconceived notion spread to everyone else in the world. That Lupus is a group of terrorist trying to take down The Hero Association. That Irene Wolfe was a mad woman who wiped out an entire city. That you as Marionette killed many heroes in cold blood."

Arthur eventually sighed finding himself tangled within his words. "So don't you think it would good for Lupus to prove history wrong? That you aren't monsters. That you aren't terrorist. That you are people trying to find your place in a world that has rejected you." Arthur slowly sunk his head feeling it weighed down with his own words. Arthur raised his hand ruffling his own hair as he clung to his own words.

"I know you might think I sound stupid or naive, but I'd like to think there is something to look forward to after all of this. That the world won't just turn to Hell after we try to fix everything..." Beneath Arthur's golden bangs Natsumi noticed Arthur's flaming stare die out. Becoming muddied and dark like a dying star. "That a future just filled with hate isn't something that could still exist..."

For awhile Natsumi went silent. Silenced by Arthur's hopeful words no matter how childish they may seem. But eventually Natsumi's voice finally flared as if reawakening after being asleep for so long. "I see. I...I can understand a bit where you're coming from." Natsumi's wavering words slowly regained their ground becoming firm and stuck in place. "But Arthur there is something I'd like to know..."

Arthur raised his head with a crumbling smile "What is it?"

"What exactly is Michael to you?" 

Arthur's eyes widened for a moment a bit baffled that Natsumi would even bother asking such a thing. "What he is to me...?" Arthur thought about it for a moment, but whenever he tried to answer Natsumi's cold stare froze him in place. 

"Is she testing me...?" Arthur thought feeling his temperature rise. Despite being frozen solid scorching sweat drops rolled down his face trying its best to unthaw him. "Maybe she is trying to figure out where my allegiances lie?"

Even with Arthur's thoughts stuck in an endless twister of uncertainty Arthur still found himself unable to give Natsumi an answer due to her frosty glare. Arthur trembled nervously as he felt uncomfortable sweats roll down his cheeks drenching them in trails of liquid salt. "What is Michael to me...?" the longer Arthur thought about it the more he felt like his brain was going to melt.

THUMP

Arthur tightened his hands as he slowly looked away from Natsumi breaking his strong gaze. "...How am I supposed to answer a question like that?" He thought now feeling his heart race within his frozen body. "If I tell Natsumi the truth then she's just going to get mad..." 

THUMP

"But if I lie then Natsumi won't be able to trust me..." A curtain of grief fell over Arthur's face as he internally battled with the question. Trading blows with his mind to decide whether or not he wanted to answer it. 

THUMP

Arthur's heartbeat slowly died down at the sensation of Natsumi's lukewarm touch. She didn't smile nor frown simply stared. Her eyes no longer carried the same coldness to them, nor were blazing brilliantly like Ren's. Instead they were calm and still making it difficult to get a read of how she truly felt.

"I dunno why you got all nervous and shit. I was only asking you a question." Natsumi spat falling back on her ghetto accent. Arthur felt his body slowly defrost as the conversation progressed. Natsumi let go of Arthur's hands as she leaned back in her seat crossing her legs "Ara Ara..." Natsumi sighed digging in her pocket for another pack of cigarettes only to find none. 

"Dammit..." Natsumi glanced at Arthur and pointed at her purse on the hotel dresser. "Hey Arthur can you get me another cig? I have another pack in my purse over there." Reluctantly Arthur nodded and walked across the room. "Can't believe you are already on your second pack I literally bought this today..." Arthur complained.

Arthur grabbed the pack and tossed it to Natsumi "Smoking that much is gonna kill you know? I wouldn't be surprised if lung cancer kills you before Michael does." Natsumi partially grinned at the comment before shrugging "Then so be it... I ain't scared of dying. If death comes for me then I'll just grab that bastard by his balls and tell him to fuck off."

A nervous sweat dripped from Arthur's forehead at the thought. He could actually imagine Natsumi doing something like that which worried him. "What the hell is wrong with this woman...?"

Natsumi quickly pulled out another cigarette and lit it exhaling out a cloud of smoke. "Y'know you shouldn't be complaining about buying me stuff. How often do you get to treat a lady as hot as me?"

Arthur shot Natsumi a strange look before pouring himself a cup of ale, figuring it would be the only thing capable of numbing his nerves. "More often than you'd think..." Arthur complained downing the entire glass in an instant. He then poured another glass for himself as well as Natsumi. While still holding a troubled expression Arthur rejoined her back on the couch "Here, I'm sure being cooped up in here for so long is making you feel antsy. This may ease you up a bit..." 

"Oh a drink? How sweet..." Natsumi teased. "Are you a fuckboy or something?" 

"Ah..." Arthur hesitated to answer, among the heroes Arthur had gained a reputation similar to that of Irene. Being beloved by many and becoming nearly as popular as Erica and Michael. Especially among young women. Michael had already warned him being so flirtatious with some of his fans, and being a deviant wasn't a reputation a hero needed. But despite these warnings Arthur's crusade only continued with his count rising higher each day.

"Disgusting..." Arthur's silence was more than enough for Natsumi to deduce that her claim was true. Causing her teasing grin to fold into a disturbed frown. 

"Why is she staring at me like that...?" Arthur's cool stare cracked as it collided with Natsumi's disgusted glare. The longer she stared the more hot Arthur felt feeling his composed face melt in embarrassment "Oh come on stop looking at me like that." Arthur finally snapped "It should be perfectly normal for someone my age to have had multiple partners..." Arthur quickly gritted his teeth to shake Natsumi's disturbed stare "I mean look at yourself, you are attractive I am sure plenty of guys have thrown themselves at you."

Natsumi's look changed a bit, shifting from disgusted to more embarrassed. But after a few seconds Natsumi soon picked herself up "They have...but I don't spread my legs for every guy who looks at me funny." Natsumi half smiled and tapped her cigarette on the ash tray "I've only been with one guy..."

Ale spilled out of Arthur's mouth and back into his glass, while Natsumi looked back at him in horror. "You good?" Arthur quickly recollected himself and regained his heroic mask. "I am! I'm just a bit surprised that's all..." Arthur scratched his face awkwardly looked away a bit unsure if he even wanted to try facing her direction. 

"Natsumi I-" Arthur quickly stopped noticing Natsumi staring at the table with a blank expression. She didn't look bothered by Arthur's comment, no she was far too wrapped in her own thoughts to even allow something like that to muddy her mind. Seeing this Arthur adjusted his posture now crossing one of his legs and placing his arm on top of the armrest. "This guy you did it with, was he a boyfriend or something?"

"Boyfriend?" Natsumi slowly grinned falling into a light laugh "No no I definitely wouldn't call him that." Natsumi pondered on what to call Jacen, they had been together for awhile now but they've never had the need to give their relationship any sort of title. For the longest time they only existed to serve each other's sexual desires but after awhile feelings grew and the relationship inevitably blossomed. "I actually don't know what to call him..."

Arthur listened silently, growing more intrigued as Natsumi dived further into her personal life. Natsumi stared at the ceiling for a moment as if trying to gather her thoughts. Natsumi never had a boyfriend, nor did she ever want one. With Ren's safety being Natsumi's top priority, the thought of dating or getting married never really crossed her mind. 

It was cause of that reason that Natsumi rejected Jacen's advancements for the longest. Usually only meeting with him to get off whenever she felt like it. Rather than reciprocating his feelings. Natsumi pondered on it for awhile longer imagining Jacen's cocky smile, or sly remarks here and there. No matter the circumstance Jacen always wore a cocky grin, and spoke highly of himself. Usually deeming himself with the most outlandish titles such as "The fastest man in the world" or "Lupus' strongest commander" Natsumi partially frowned at the thought before turning to Arthur "Would you consider a Boyfriend someone you love?"

"..Uh" Arthur briefly went silent stumbling on his words. "Yeah? Yeah!" he repeated a bit more confident "I guess you could say that. If you are dating someone I suppose you should be in love with them right?"

"Well if that's the case then no he isn't my boyfriend." Natsumi admitted, thinking back to Ren and Jack. "Don't get me wrong I still care about him. He's been with me for a long time, and has helped me through situations I was sure I'd never be able to get out of. But the way how I feel about him isn't even close to how I feel about my Brothers." Natsumi smiled.

"Brothers?" Arthur stopped "I thought you only had one Brother?" Natsumi shook her head and gave Arthur a warm smile "The relationship between this boy and I isn't the same as it is between me and Ren. But the bond is just as strong. Just like Ren I would sacrifice everything for him. Just to make sure he is as happy as he can be."

"I feel like unless I feel like that for someone, then whatever feelings I may have for them isn't love." Natsumi then kicked her feet up and placed her cigarette back in her mouth "So until some lousy boy is able to make me feel that way about them, ain't no man gonna claim my heart!" Natsumi laughed "But they can sure as hell try!"

Arthur couldn't help but smirk at her drunken rant and slowly shook his head "God you're a total mess..." he sighed "Although I suppose you can make the same argument against me." Arthur took another heavy swig of his ale before pouring another cup "I'm a total mess..."

"I'm supposed to be this legendary warrior yet I have nothing to show for it..." Arthur spewed his words spilling onto the table in a drunken mess. "My castle was overtaken by criminals, and if it wasn't for them choosing to spare my life I probably would've gotten killed." Arthur's face sunk falling into the depths of the ocean "I've tried to call for Excalibur's power since the incident and still I haven't been able to hear it's voice..." Arthur raised his hand to his face shielding it "Then worst of all Michael expects me to act like some sort of valiant hero after everything that's happened..."

Natsumi's complexion paled when she noticed Arthur's body beginning to tremble. "How exactly does Michael expect me to meet his expectations when he continues to place impossible tasks onto my shoulders?" 

"Become the next number one Hero."

"Show the world that you are the legendary Sovereign."

"Be the hero who kills Marionette..."

"How the fuck am I supposed to become those things when I can't even do something as simple as saving two kids!" Arthur screamed at himself, allowing his words to strike him repeatedly. "How am I supposed to be a hero when the person I've idolized all this time isn't even a real hero..."

"Michael has done horrible things..." Arthur rephrased "Michael is doing horrible things..." 

"What would it make me if I sit around and do nothing? A failure, or a stupid son who doesn't want to see their father killed for their own selfish actions?" Arthur felt his tears soak into his palm drenching it in sorrow. While Natsumi watched with heavy eyes. She knew asking Arthur to help would only make his pain worse, but among the heroes it was through this confession that Natsumi now knew she could trust Arthur the most. 

"Well I guess that answers my question from before." Natsumi gently rubbed Arthur's shoulder still feeling his body trembling as if it were frozen to the core. "It was because of those lingering feelings you have for Michael that I was wondering if you'd be able to live up to your own dream?"

For awhile Natsumi held her honest stare and gently caressed Arthur's face bringing it to hers making sure his gaze wouldn't be drawn away from her own. "Arthur I want you to tell me your dream again. I want to know if you still feel like you could achieve it even if I tell you what I want to do."

Arthur's blazing stare locked onto Natsumi's sunlit one. 

Lost in a sea of fire. 

Natsumi looked at Arthur sympathetically before repeating his dream for him "To create a future without sin, and a future without hate. Do you believe you can bring yourself to forgive me after I kill Michael?" Natsumi asked, her eyes widening for an answer "Do you believe you can stop yourself from hating me after watching Michael's body fall against my blade."

"Cause even if you tell me you can, I don't think I'd be able to believe you." Even though Natsumi knew her words were harsh they also came from experience. Even though Natsumi had ran that day. Even though she didn't see Irene be killed by Michael's hands Natsumi still felt pain as if she did. Natsumi felt her entire life becoming derailed cause of hate and a lust for revenge, wishing for it by any means necessary. 

Natsumi knew what it felt like to see their parents killed. She could only imagine how it would feel for Arthur to not only witness it but also conspire for it to happen. 

"That's fine." Arthur finally responded "Cause you don't gotta worry about me saying something like that. I'm sure if I saw you kill Michael I'd probably be consumed by hate, but I also can recognize that if I sat around and did nothing while Michael continues to torture the innocent I'd only hate myself more."

"I can't allow something like this to happen any longer. I can't allow Lupus to take any more lives of innocent heroes who get caught in the crossfire between this grudge match between Michael and the supporters of Irene."

"I will end this, even if it means I have to take down Michael myself."

Arthur continued to tremble even after making his bold claim. A claim that almost seemed impossible, even if he had the will to do it. Natsumi watched Arthur shake in a stern silence before leaning over and embracing him fabricating him in her warmth "There is no reason for you to take down Michael yourself, cause I'll be there to help you every step of the way. Right Partner?"

Before Arthur could respond he noticed his phone beginning to vibrate shaking the coffee table it sat on "Sorry I gotta take this..." Arthur stepped away from Natsumi and glance at his phone noticing it was from the Vermillion household. 

"Seth? What could he want...?"

Chapter End