A Mob Boss's Heirs (Book 3 of New York Mafia Trilogy)

52. Heart Felt Remorse

Vincenzo was in his room laying on his bed. From time to time he threw his baseball up in the air hitting the ceiling only for it to come back down into the palm of his hand. He was thinking hard.

Seeing his mother's tears had conjured a mixture of emotions in his mind. He partly felt rage and party felt remorse. He was feeling frustrated that his mother was not letting go. It was always about him being nicer. What he couldn't understand was that, Viggo was already there. Why did his mother want another duplicate?

Vincenzo's father had raised two sons to be leaders and not followers. Vincenzo and his brother were destined for leadership. They were strong, fierce and capable of carrying out their duties. They were excelling fast and getting close to where they meant to reach. They were on the path to become untouchable. But they had different personalities. Viggo was moderate. But Vincenzo was extreme. Their mother didn't like that.

It shouldn't have bothered Vincenzo as much as it did or rather he thought it was not going to bother him hearing his mother not being happy with him. Now that his mother didn't even say any words to criticise him, her tears did communicate with him how heart broken she was.

Vincenzo felt pained. He felt remorse. Even thought he wasn't meant to feel regret. He hadn't done anything wrong. Not intentionally. But indirectly he had caused his mother to cry and it bothered him.

It felt wrong to see her cry. Recalling the sight of his mother's tears were stabbing his heart. He never meant to hurt her. He always wanted her to be safe and protected just like how he wanted Vienna to be safe from harm from the whole world.

Vincenzo now felt responsible. It was his fault that his mother was crying. But he could not help that. There was nothing he could do. She wanted him to be like Viggo. That was never going to happen. He couldn't give her even a tiny ray of hope. Because he was who he was and he had no intention of changing. He was the first born heir to this family. He couldn't afford to be soft. But that wasn't it. Viggo was not soft he was far from it. He was strong willed and intelligent. So how could he describe what quality it was that Vigo had that it hadn't? Viggo had a quality that was more evident. That quality was what kept Viggo out of trouble and prevented him from worrying their mother.... He was looking for the word that Viggo was but he wasn't. That was it " being compassionate" was the right description. Was Viggo more compassionate? Absolutely. He showed mercy. He forgave but Vincenzo didn't. Vincenzo remembered every single wrong doing that anyone did to him and made sure those responsible paid up. He never let anyone get away if they wronged him. He took revenge in the most severe form that was possible. Viggo had sympathy and was capable of forgiving. But compassion, sympathy and forgiveness didn't appeal to Vincenzo. Not only he loved revenge, he enjoyed himself taking revenge. It satisfied him to hurt those who wronged him. He enjoyed it more than he could describe.

Vincenzo's father had enemies and they all wanted him dead. There was a target on his head ever since the day he was born. He was a first born heir and the number one on the wanted list of those who hated his father. He had a long to do list of eliminating them all one by one. He had no idea how his mother was going to cope with that in future. She just had to look the other way. He couldn't afford to make mistakes. He didn't have time for that. He couldn't forgive. He couldn't forget. His mother just had to accept that. But it didn't change the fact that Vincenzo was feeling remorse and feeling responsible for making his mother cry at that moment..

His mother's tears was bothering him., He couldn't deny that it indeed did matter to him how she felt. Even though her words were not always received well by Vincenzo, her feelings mattered immensely. She mattered. Her well being mattered. He wasn't meant to hurt her no matter what his purpose in life was meant to become. It just felt wrong to make her cry. It just did. Why did she have to be hurt? He never hurt her. He had no intention of hurting her, ever. Why did she look at him with that pair of pained green eyes that made him feel regret. The regret of making her feel sad bothered him.