TAATO-Shots

((A/N))

I bet you guys get all nervous when you see that as the title of the chapter xD

FIRST OF ALL NO THIS IS NOT THE END I'LL HAVE A CHAPPY FOR YOU TOMORROW PROMISE

Second of all, this chapter is absolutely not crucial to anything in the world, meaning this book and/or your ability to carry on with your life. Therefore if you don't wanna hear me blabbering on about something please feel free to click out right now and I'll see you when I post the chappy tomorrow.

This also applies to those who have had a bad day or something and don't want any additional sadness. I take zero offense to that if you wanna get out of here-- Totally don't blame you.

It's kind of a serious topic and the only reason I'm sharing it with you, is because I want to heal. And to do that I need to admit to my struggles.

I apologize in advance for the 1400 words that is THIS mess.

I'll give you a second to make that decision.

Should I start juggling again idk

Okay sorry humor is my go-to when I'm nervous xD

ANYWAYS. See now I'm uncomfortable and you're uncomfortable and I hate myself for doing this--

But here it comes.

I just... Feel like since this book is coming to an end (at some point), I should talk to y'all about something. Because... I think it's important for y'all to maybe understand why I've written about what I've written about.

And idk how to do it so I'll just do it.

When I was young, I was abused by someone very close to me. And damn... It's been a long time since I told someone that.

And let me just say that I'm not good at talking about my feelings, and... I'm not good at admitting that I'm not okay, or that I need help.

And... I went into some very very bad forms of coping, when that was all happening. Because the adult that took advantage of my trust told me they'd do it to my sister if I said no, and I was too young to understand what was happening to me.

So.. I retreated within myself. Withdrawing from everyone around me.

And it's affected my current relationship with my sister, as well as my parents because as a child I was too afraid to talk to them.

I had imprisoned myself.

As I grew older I became accustomed to what was going on. I.. Got used to it, I suppose. And I became numb to the self-destructive things I was doing in response to what was happening.

And this went on for... I don't know. Like as far back as I can remember, this adult was doing these things to me. And the self destruction came in when I was in sixth grade or so.