-The Dawn of Sommers by miss1extinct [Rev. Lals]

32 1 0
                                    

Book Name: The Dawn of Sommers

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Book Name: The Dawn of Sommers

Author: Miss1Extinct

Reviewer: Lals Chaotic_Lals

Cover: 2.5/05
The cover was too simple and a tad bit plain too. I don’t think it goes in par with the book’s plot and theme. The book gives off a strong and dramatic vibe, whereas the cover is meek.
Coming to the technicalities, the background picture that is used in it is blurry. The font of the title doesn’t sit so well either. The same goes for the author’s handle— it looks out of place. In brief, I don’t think all the elements of the graphic piece go with each other.

Title: 4.5/05
Yeps. It was a good choice. Suits the book and isn’t so common either.

Synopsis: 06/10
To be frank, I don’t understand why you’d choose this particular extract to be a part of the synopsis. To put it simply, a blurb is supposed to give an insight into a book— to entrance readers. I don’t think the current synopsis did that. There was a lot of irrelevant parts (when it comes to the body of what a blurb should contain, that is). Rather than adding a whole extract, include a write up on the book too. Make it a tad bit shorter too.

Execution: 07/10
The execution could be better. This goes for the cover, synopsis and the writing style mainly. Other than that, I think you’re almost good to go. The plot was good, and the same goes for the characters. A couple of grammatical errors here and there; but nothing that cannot be edited out.

Plot: 17/20
The plot as a whole, was unique. Not something I haven’t read before, but there was an essence to it which made it unique. However, the writing style made it a problem. I would’ve stopped reading the book right after the first half of the prologue, if I didn’t have to review it. The plot came off as dragged. So I guess you got to erect the pace.

Writing Style: 15/20
The writing style is question. I feel like your writing style is too lagged up. You give away way too much information . . . it starts to come off as mundane after some reading, you know? Even though you know how to convey ideas properly, it’s all too lagged up. Some paragraphs were too long. I skipped the second half of the first chapter.
When you convey thoughts and similar scenarios through italics, don’t do it in the same paragraph as the narration. Split them. For instance, in the second chapter, you could’ve split the ‘weapons of mass destruction’ part, into a different line.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 17/20
You need to understand the difference between the usage of a hyphen (-) and an em-dash (—). A hyphen is used to connect two words while an em-dash is used to set off extra information within a sentence, to signal an abrupt shift, and to emphasize a thought or sentence (like cutting off dialogues). For instance, in the first chapter, there’s this line that goes like this: ‘. . . the sixth king to rule over the Hapahestus Kingdom – his kingdom.’
Here, you were supposed to use an em dash rather than a hyphen.
Also, avoid using too many italics. It’s both grammatically incorrect, and just unnecessary, you know?
The universal value of an ellipsis is three and only three. Using more or lesser than three periods is grammatically incorrect. At some places, I noticed you using 4.
As far as I’ve seen, there’s nothing wrong in the usage of words. There’s that balance between simplicity and complexity.

Characters & Development: 08/10
The characters were good. The way you’ve given each character a separate spotlight is appreciable. The development is questionable given the number of chapters so far, but you did well.

Total: 77/100

Final Note: First off, please do not get discouraged or demotivated due to anything I mentioned above. Keep an open mind and work towards improving the flaws. You’re doing well now, just a couple of mistakes here and there. Don’t hesitate to hit me up if you have any doubts or queries regarding this review. I hope I helped you.

 I hope I helped you

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
✨𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐏!✨Where stories live. Discover now