This cover is not a perfect cover. Sure, the theme matches the story and mafia vibes. But neither the title nor any other text or element is found. The creativity level is too low. You should work on the cover. It is not pleasing to the eyes and doesn't catch the reader's attention at all. The images used are also blurry. You can either design the cover yourself or order a cover from any graphic shop who makes good covers.
The cover can have any female idol from kpop or you can have a silhouette of a girl with Jimin's black swan photos as a face claim.
A little suggestion for you to place order for your book:
Pandora graphic shops by CharmsCommunity
Title: ⅖
Title is one of those things which attracts the readers the most. This basically gives us the vibes of the theme of the story. First of all, your title seems too long. You shouldn't add "Park Jimin Mafia ff" inq your title. "The Sold Innocent" is pretty good and unique. But the phrase you used before telling us who is the mafia and whose ff is this, I think you shouldn't do it. If you wanna show it in the title, then do it after the actual title.
Second,you can show that it's a Jimin ff, by cover. Showing the face claim and the title written on the cover, tells us who's the main character.
Blurb:4/10
This made me interested and I wanted to keep more about the book. But the way you wrote and delivered the dialogues is not good. You gave so much space and the phrase usage was wrong. The dots are used again and again, disturbing the flow.
Take the following example:
"My life was already a living hell…… With my uncle and aunt….. And everything was suddenly changed in one day when…… He came to my home,Park Jimin, the mafia king……"
Now these sentences can be written with better sentence structure and also good phrasal use. Such as:
"My life was nothing but a hell, a living hell with. Who was responsible? My Uncle and Aunt.
But then, everything changed. In a blink of an eye, my life was turned upside down. When one day he came… demanding for me and buying me"
Now instead of telling us the characters names, you should write only dialogues. Or a context without any name revealed. It kills the suspense and thrill of a reader. After this if you are gonna write the dialogues, then write them with a space between them. They all felt like they were from one scene. You shouldn't give us all the dialogues, meaning you put one from the beginning then from the middle and then from the end of the story. To attract readers and spike their interest use only a few dialogues such as the one you used in the middle.
