I don't find the cover attractive much. The black theme is not doing a good job. The holden font is not visible as it is cursive. It is not attracting readers much as I don't see it interesting enough to catch their attention. You can make it better by using bold text as well as using a face claim. I don't find it matched well with the theme and story line.
A guy with a hat with his face half hidden and a girl's shadow in front with a royalty theme. You can take services from any graphic shop as well and order the graphic according to the theme and plot.
Title:⅖
At first, I got confused over the name and what it might mean. But what mattered first, was it capable enough to catch the reader's attention? Then yes, it caught mine as soon as I read it. The meaning behind it is so deep with secrets buried deep. I got curious to know more about the story.
But then, I got confused as to what it might mean. I had to first find the meaning of Ember. According to me the name must be something which a reader can understand at the first sight.
But then again, the name must be matched with the story. I don't think it matches with the story as I don't find any purpose behind using this title.
Synopsis: ⅘
It played a great role in grabbing my attention towards the story. The way you used dialogue spiked my interest so much that I immediately started reading. Usually, I don't read original characters' stories, I prefer BTS fan fiction, but you made me change my mind and I ended up reading the whole 59 parts. Which is so unusual of me.
Execution: 7/10
About this factor,at first I was so confused. I didn't know what's happening, what was going on. The start was absurd and each and everything felt out of place. I didn't know who was speaking, from whom she was running and why? But as I read further, the explanations expanded and I got to know much more about the story. The execution of plot and events is surprisingly good. You took your time in explaining the events and described them fully. However, I think you took a fast pace in describing the event which happened when she was away from Xander and someone else took her. The rest seems fine to me.
Plot: 17/20
The plot is amazing and I was surprised to see the way you planned it all. The events, the description of a scene, all are amazing. However, I felt that there should be more explanations from the start and description of where. she was living. The life of her is shown less as well as her past lover Lau is also not discussed here.
At times, I felt like the pace was too fast and you skipped a few details such as encounters with Xander and the explanations of events around that phase of the story. Sometimes the pace felt too slow. But still you did a great job at pulling off the plot. Many have tried writing this theme or at least a plot full of secrets and mysteries, but at a point. They fail because they don't know how to execute the specific event and end up making it cliche.
The plot was going well, till I was left bewildered when that girl revealed herself as the daughter of the man who offered our main lead to stay in the mansion when Xander left the scene for a while. It was all of a sudden and truth to be said, a twist as well.
After that, the last few updates, which revealed the true identity of our main lead was unexpected..
You did a great job here. Well done.
Writing style: 16/20
Your writing style is better than others but a bit confusing at the same time. You wrote the story or better say started it in 1st person, which is quite difficult for me to understand. I prefer the starting of the story in 3rd POV, then the change of the point of view according to the scene. After that, the scenes which you described are not enough to pinpoint the location of the events. Sometimes, your explanations were long enough to make me skip them and sometimes they were fast. I would suggest you keep them balanced by taking in the past events.
Grammar: 19/20
I don't have any injection with this factor. You are good with words and have a firm grip on vocabulary as well.
Character's development: 7/10
If you read the story keenly, you can see the development right in front of your eyes. From the start till the last update, which was a few days ago, I clearly took in each and every description of the characters. Even though, in the series of first 10 chapters, I couldn't pinpoint the characters, their behaviors and reasons behind their actions for a while. But as I read further and according to your warning, this story is really a slow burn. Slowly, but surely, the characters developed into something better. I think the plot and the story line is still in the middle and I can predict, much more has to come in the character's way.
Hope you do your best. Good luck.
Total: 74/100
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