Go for something out of the box, I know your title is reference from Twice's song Cry for me and the book itself has references from the song, a better title could make it more intriguing. You can go for words like, 'thantophobia: the fear of losing someone you love' , since her thought process in the third chapter seems too obsessive, you can use more of the dark themed terms like name of a phobia or any phrase as such to match it with the storyline. The current one is anyhow, apt and average.
Cover: 7/10
Beautiful! Dahyun looks stunning and the edit is indeed a beautiful one but I'd advise you to change the author name text placement to the top centre of the cover and a rather bolder font could be used for 'me' since it's blended with the background picture and doesn't grab much attention. Also, though the picture is well edited, the female lead in the book is called 'Juliet' so if you're using Dahyun as the face reference for Juliet, it'd be better if you mention it in the beginning.
Description: 2 /5
Too much revelation of plot, it's as if you gave a summary of your book instead of a description. A perfect description isn't that long, especially when it's of a short story written in a poetic format. The description gives away everything, the suspense and the plot twists, everything is mentioned, though this might intrigue some readers, it'll also become a bummer when the book is being read and will make everything very predictable.
Reader’s Interaction: 1 /5
The book has less number of reads and it's on hold as well, there are only three short chapters and according to me it's NOT enough to keep your readers hooked up, there are comments on those special mesmerizing descriptions and I'd advise you to use such flowery language more often to keep your readers interested till the end.
Plot: 4/10
Romeo and Juliet are epitome of love, they're used as reference in many novels and books to the point that they sound cliche unless enough creativity is put into it. The part of Romeo cheating and Juliet staying quiet even after finding out the truth is quite predictable, though if you can manage to keep up with the unexpected plot twists in the forthcoming chapters then I'd indeed leave a great impact on the readers so good luck on that.
Grammar: 15 /20
You did mention that the book will contain grammatical errors and that they're intended so I'd not point out the sentence and dialogue formation errors since they don't mess up with the reader's interest and are still good to go with.
Though below are few of them which I believe, needs to be corrected:
In one: The past life,
'I saw that mesmerizing smile yours.'
'I saw that mesmerizing smile of yours.'
There are major punctuation errors, especially lack of periods/full stops and commas, an example is given below:
sentence: 'Well. If I can't have you anymore then no one can.'
Dialogue: 'Well, if I can't have you anymore then no one can.'
Try to use ellipses ( … ) to convey suspense and hesitation wherever required.
Plot twists and attraction: 2/10
Not the most unexpected plot twists. The writing format is attractive and intriguing enough for the reader's interest.
Emotions and character development: 4/10
The thoughts of Juliet in the ending of part three, when she goes like 'Well, if I can't have you anymore then no one can.' hints a change of events. Juliet who was apparently like a lovesick puppy right from the beginning seems to have a change of character to an obsessive or an strong willed one, I'm still not quite sure about how her character is turning into, is she undergoing a character development of love oneself more instead of others and stop being that desperate? Or is she going to turn into an obsessed lover and will try to harm Roseline?
Creativity and way of writing: 7/10
If one doesn't focus on the obvious plot and reads the book with an empty mind then they'd really enjoy reading it, I didn't get bored at any point of reading the book and at the end of the day it's indeed a good read.
Your opinion on the book: 6/10
Even if I'm not a fan of romance and predictable love affairs, I'd surely be looking forward to the upcoming plot and character development.
Total Marks: 54/100
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