The cover is too bland. The fonts need to be improvised. The neon effect of the fonts don’t go well with the cover either. The picture’s quality isn’t so good- it makes the whole graphic look bland. You could’ve filtered the cover, maybe? And go for a bolder font.
Title: 02/05
You could’ve chosen a much better title. There’re plenty of books out there with the same title. Moreover, I really don’t see the connection it has with the plot of the book.
Synopsis: 06/10
The synopsis wasn’t well written. You could’ve added more body to the blurb, you know? And by ‘body’, I don’t mean more dialogues; I’m talking more details- details that would attract more readers. As of now, I feel that it’s tad bit too straight-forward. Rather than posing so many obvious questions in the synopsis, try evolving that into a better-written paragraph. The synopsis lacks in terms of connections and conveying of ideas.
Execution: 04/10
You should avoid inserting images and GIFs whilst the chapters are going on. That completely ruins the flow of the book. If you do want add them, you can add them at the very end of each chapter, as a part of an author’s note, hm? Also, some parts of chapters were aligned in the wrong way. Some were aligned to the right and some were centralized (no, I’m not talking about the texting parts. I’m talking about the narratives). Take the first chapter for instance; the part right after you inserted Jackson’s GIF.
There’re rules for using bold tags and italics, too. You might want to pay attention to that. You can just use italics to put emphasis on a word- bold tags are to take that emphasis to its next degree, which I think is unnecessary considering the points where you’ve used them.
Plot: 10/20
The plot was unnecessarily dramatic- to say the least. at some points, it was just all exaggeration and repetition of the same thing over and over again, but in different scenarios. There was nothing new- just so much unnecessary drama. It was unrealistic.
And, you had compared Yoongi with Taehyung I the chapter named ‘Starting Over’. What was that for? Why did you not compare Yoongi with all the other members, too? These were some points of the book that I found rather confusing.
Writing Style: 15/20
When you convey thoughts in italics, it’s better if you do it in a separate line, and then continue the rest of the paragraph in a different line. You know what I’m trying to say? Right, for instance, let’s take this paragraph taken as it is from the first chapter: ‘My heart starts to race, as reality comes crashing down onto me, like a tidal wave drowning me. Do they even want to see me? Do I still have a home here? My hands tightly grip the arms of my chair, as I feel the plane land and passengers get up grabbing their items.’
Here, you could’ve written the thoughts in a different line. So, the whole thing would be something like this:
[My heart starts to race, as reality comes crashing down onto me, like a tidal wave drowning me.
Do they even want to see me? Do I still have a home here?
My hands tightly grip the arms of my chair, as I feel the plane land and passengers get up grabbing their items.]
You need to avoid using abbreviated forms of words too (like ‘tho’ instead of ‘though’, etc.).
You changed perspectives in a lot of chapters without mentioning it in the beginning- that was confusing. Don’t expect readers to just figure it out. Mention it.
Coming to the actual writing style, it was not bad, I guess? I think you could’ve written the book in past tense, actually. Present tense isn’t the thing for this book. The style could be improvised, however. Maybe give tad bit more details and make things more realistic? This applies especially when it comes to expressing characters’ thoughts.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 12/20
The grammar needs a lot of improvisation. However, you have to pay attention to the tenses in the book. If you decide to write in past tense, you might as well stick to it. Switching from past to present and back to past, is both confusing, as well as wrong in a grammatical sense. For instance, in the first chapter, a sentence goes like this: ‘Jimin and Hobi were the only ones who really talked to me these days.’
Here, ‘were’ and ‘talked’ are in past tense; but the same doesn’t go for ‘these’, which is in present tense- that’s not how it’s supposed to be.
Then, punctuations. At many points, I felt that you used commas unnecessarily, and at some points, you didn’t use them when needed. For instance, in the sentence ‘What’s wrong Princess?’, there should’ve been a comma after ‘wrong’.
In dialogues, you are to use a comma instead of a full stop, if the sentence isn’t completed yet (that is, if it’s further continued in the form of narration). This especially applies to action tags.
Characters & Development: 04/10
To be frank, I did not like all the characters. I think Jungkook was way too dramatic. Like I mentioned above, they aren’t realistic. And, some of them were immature at some points. I mean, I know they are your characters and that everyone can be immature sometimes; but in this book, the events taking place were just unrealistic- which includes their immaturity. Making your characters complicated isn’t wrong, but when you do it, make sure you so it the right way. I do not understand why she wanted all of them to wait for her. The characters were too perplexingly conveyed- and that’s the issue here. So nope. The characters didn’t do it for me. At some points, they were just straight up frustratingly confusing.
And the development. It is there of course, but at some points, it was clear that their mindsets were just the same.
Total: 56/100
Final Note: First off, please do not be offended or demotivated due to anything I mentioned above. Keep an open mind and accept them. I suggest you take the book under an editing session and improvise it? Take your time with it. Good luck and yes, hit my DMs up if you have any queries or doubts regarding this review ☺
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