The cover is poorly executed. Doesn't really give off the fantasy genre. The font seems to be really common and unmatched to the plot and the colour scheme. You should have been more proper with the details.
Title: 05/05
The title is apt to the story and good enough to allure me into reading it. Also suits cause the main genre is kinda fantasy.
Synopsis: 03/10
The sypnosis has tons of grammatical errors and the tense is switched often. It's a poor execution of what the plot is about. The blurb also seems to be really long and so, it doesn't perk my interest. An usual blurb should have only two-three paragraphs and a small dialogue to perk up the interest of the readers.
Execution: 05/10
The execution of the plot is not done well. The characters are not given a proper insight into what are they and Jimin, about his whereabouts of his power.
Plot: 10/20
The plot is interesting, but has many plot holes. The happenings are not described well and neither are the characters. It seems kinda conflicted. Though it's a good plot, it all depends on how it's executed. You can improve by having a proper balance between dialogues and descriptions.
Writing Style: 6/20
The writing style is a bit poor, not really explained well. Like I said, you've directly gone into the story. The pace seemed to be really fast for someone to understand what's really going on around in the story. I would suggest you to give a better insight into the characters.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 8/20
There are way too many grammatical errors in the story. You didn't maintain a particular tense throughout the story which is not appreciable and completely unprofessional. Skim through your chapters once and proofread. Your vocabulary is really average and the same words have been repeated multiple times. I would probably suggest you to use synonyms in the place of normal words.
Characters & Development: 02/10
The characters didn't have a proper background and that's a major drawback. The development of the characters was not really prominent and it could be accentuated more only with proper descriptions.
Total: 42/100
Final Note: I've mentioned the pros and cons in your story above. I hope you take it into consideration and probably improve on your weak points.
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