Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
The cover seems to be really messed up. The space between the fonts are not balanced well. There's a stark contrast between the two pictures and is not blended well. You could have changed the font to a better one like cinzel or moonrising if you wanted to stick to the sans serif. The cover doesn't really depict what the story is about. There should have been some more details inculcated in it.
Title: 01/05
Travel in time seems to be a direct title and a common one. Though it matches to the plot, it's really bland and lacks creativity. It could be changed to something better. Also, the synonyms of the words could be used.
Synopsis: 03/10
The sypnosis has tons of grammatical errors. Moreover, it doesn't perk up the interest of a reader. The plot seems to be really obvious from the blurb and that's really not appreciable since a blurb is basically the insight or an excerpt into the story.
Execution: 05/10
The execution of your plot was a bit messed up. No girl would randomly take in a stranger to a store to buy clothes. The description of Taehyung time travelling was not coherent, rather, really confusing for someone to make out the exact details. The balance between the dialogues, descriptions and the pace was not maintained throughout which is a basic defect which I found in your execution.
Plot: 5/20
Like I had previously said, the plot seems to be really messed up. First of all, the descriptions were not properly executed. Second, the way the girl immediately approached the man, brought clothes for her, it seems really cliché and probably, has no relevance to the story. These are some of the ways you can make the plot more interesting.
×Make sure that your protagonists have a proper character development.
×Proper rearrangement of scenes.
×Characters are described well.
×Two to three plot twists.
×Cliff hangers at the end.
×Balance between dialogues and description.
Writing Style: 06/20
Your writing style is really bland. It needs to be more descriptive and detailed so that the reader is able to have a better understanding of what's happening. Every minute details need to be explained in brief. In all, there should be a proper balance between the dialogues and the descriptions.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/20
Your grammar had tons of errors. You often tend to switch your tenses and that could be rectified by re reading your book once more. Dialogues should be enclosed in dialogue tags with proper punctuations which were missing in some sentences. Here's a proper example,
"Hello, what's your name?"
"My name is Taehyung,"
"Taehyung?"
"Yes. You got any problem with that?"
They should be executed like this.
Your vocabulary is pretty average and even then, you tend to repeat the words a lot. It can be improved if you use a dictionary in order to replace words with their synonyms.
Characters & Development: 05/10
I didn't notice much character development since the entire one is pretty enthusiastic. The only emotions I can feel is confusion and enthusiasm. Nothing more than that since your descriptive writing needs to be changed.
Total: 36/100
Final Note: I hope this review helps you to improve your book. I've inculcated my thoughts here and the pros and cons in your book. Please don't take it to your heart and work hard to improve.
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
