Title: 8/10 At first, I thought the title was too simple, but after reading the book, with the story being so complex, it fits the book perfectly. Cover: 5/10 The cover is super classy and radiates fervour. It’s catchy and attractive but where’s the author’s name? A book cover isn’t a cover if it doesn’t have both, title and author’s name. Do change this ASAP.
Description: 1/5 The first part was fine; you added a few lines from the book and a definition of ‘Complex’ which did catch my attention. The 1 mark is for that. But where’s the description? A description should give a rough idea of the book and its characters. And the warnings shouldn’t be part of the description; you can add them in an extra chapter at the beginning of the book. Reader's interaction: 2/5 You have a fairly good amount of reads but I saw the same 2 or 3 people commenting in every chapter, that too, rarely. But I could see they enjoyed the book as even I ended up commenting a lot. But what about the other people reading, ghost readers? Plot: 9/10 Honestly, I loved the plot. Every chapter ended with a bang and made me want to keep reading. The characters were so full of sass and sarcasm. The backstories, how all their pasts connected perfectly, the flashbacks- everything was interesting to read. One plot hole I found was, in the chapter in which Jungkook meets Hobi, he sends the videos of them dancing to Hobi and then a few chapters later they exchange numbers. How did he send Hobi the videos if he didn’t have his number? It’s a tiny mistake but do correct it.
Grammar: 10/20 I noticed that other than tenses and punctuation, your grammar is fine. The majority of mistakes are typos, so please proofread it once and correct them as it makes it so confusing. 1. In the first chapter, ‘I’ve lived in Busan my whole life as my parents bought the house before I was born and my mother and I have lived here ever since. I feel a heaviness starting to settle …’ Here, the first line is in past tense and the following line is in the present tense. There is no restriction as to mixing tenses in a paragraph but it is better if the tense you use is consistent throughout the paragraph. Since it’s the character’s POV, it makes more sense for it to be in the present tense. Here’s the correct version- ‘I’ve been living in Busan my whole life as my parents bought the house before I was born and my mother and I have been living here ever since. I feel heaviness starting to settle....’ 2. In the third chapter, ‘I mean yeah, it’s not like we’re gonna stay and hang out. We’re going to have to basically unpack the car and rearrange everything to fit Tae’s shit…..’ Here, ‘basically’ isn’t needed. 3. In the twelfth chapter, ‘At least the guy was telling the truth about where to find him. Well, where to find the room of the RA. If the guy from my phone call is in fact the one with the title is yet to be confirmed.’ This sentence is SO confusing and totally wrong. The correct version would be- ‘The guy was telling the truth about where to find him, at least about where to find the RA. I don’t know if the guy who called is the RA yet.’
4. In the twenty third chapter, ‘Jin got so angry and yelled at him and told him that he wasn’t gay and how dare…’ This paragraph has to be the most confusing paragraph ever. The correct version would be- ‘Jin got angry and yelled at him, he said he wasn’t gay and asked how he dare do that without his permission. When he told Jin that Jimin had told him he’s bisexual, he became more irate. He further yelled at him for accusing him of being something he wasn’t and told him he never wanted to see his face again.’
5. Punctuation is really important as it avoids a lot of confusion. You’ve used ‘and’ more than a few times in all the paragraphs, I suggest you punctuate the paragraphs properly to make it more understandable. Your vocabulary is standard and you’ve used a lot of new words, good job!
Plot twists and attraction: 9 /10 There was a fair amount of plot twists, more like parts connecting the story together and it indeed was very interesting to read. Emotions and character development: 10/10 When Namjoon was explaining things to Yoongi, the taejikook moments, during flashbacks and during fights, I could feel the emotions of the characters deeply. I’m sure the readers could relate to the story and the emotions that the characters were feeling. The change in behaviour of the characters through the story was evident. So, you did an excellent work in this field. Creativity and way of writing: 5 /10 The 5 marks are for creativity as there’s nothing that’s not creative about the book. But your way of writing needs a lot of improvement.
Firstly, there is no ‘No one’s POV’. There are only four types of views: First person point of view (First person is when ‘I’ am telling the story), Second person point of view (The story is told to ‘you’), Third Person point of view (the story is about ‘he or she’), Third person point of view, omniscient (the story is still about ‘he or she’ but the narrator has full access to the thoughts and emotions of all the characters in the story. Two, your paragraphs are too long. It not only makes it hard to understand but also makes the readers not want to read further. Try breaking the paragraphs into smaller sentences. I had to read some of the paragraphs twice before I understood it completely. A reader shouldn’t feel that way. While reading, they should be able to read without stopping, with a flow. Your opinion on the book: 7/10 Over all, I loved the book. If you change the description, correct the typos and the grammatical mistakes, it would be a lot better. I enjoyed reading your book and I hope your book gets the attention and love it deserves. TOTAL: 66/100
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