The cover in one word, was bland. It wasn’t really attractive. The font chosen for the title is basically what all new graphic designers choose. Of course, that’s beside the point, but, it didn’t go with the title. The title is something serious, and the font couldn’t convey that. The same goes for the author’s name below the title. The ‘written by’ part should’ve been excluded; just the author’s name does the job. Also, the foggy element should have its opacity decreased.
Title: 02/05
To be honest, the title go with the book. Some parts of it, yes— but not the whole of it. Plus, everything happening in the book couldn’t really be summed up within the word ‘Slave’. You could’ve done a much better job.
Synopsis: 05/10
To be honest, I didn’t really find anything interesting in the synopsis. Its structure is too poor, to begin with. Errors in the punctuations were noted too (it’ll be explained in further topics below). The whole thing could’ve been written in third person too. It would be better that way.
In the sentence ‘But the day he got out of there-- turned out to be the worst day of his life.’, the hyphens used there are completely unnecessary. It literally could’ve been one sentence even without a comma.
The ideas to tried to convey in the blurb was good however, but, the execution could’ve been much better. As of now, the synopsis didn’t really make me want to read the book.
Execution: 05/10
First off, I feel that almost everything you gave out in the ‘introductions’ chapter was completely unnecessary. The synopsis and the pictures of the characters were alright, but describing them? Nope. A big no. You do not tell your readers what your character is like through mere descriptions like these— you do it through your writing as the story proceeds. Also, all the warnings that you gave were unnecessary too. Like, I get it, you may have done it since not all readers may be comfortable with it; but, a warning in general would’ve done the job. The readers are responsible if they red something they don’t like after skipping a warning. You didn’t have to mention the character deaths and all the other things you did— it spoiled the fun of it.
Moreover, the chapters were not at all properly executed. Everything was happening too fast.
Overall, I wanted to stop reading the after about a couple of chapters.
Plot: 12/20
The theme behind the book was amazing. However, like I mentioned above, everything was really fast-paced. On top of that, you do not give enough details. That’s all I have to say about the plot.
Writing Style: 10/20
The writing style isn’t sophisticated at all. I didn’t really find it entrancing. It was mostly because of the sentence constructions— they were really poor. On top of that, the words you used bad the whole thing worse. The writing style in one word was bit . . . mundane. It was like listening a 3 year old telling a story. It was sluggish.
You didn’t describe scene enough either. One moment the guy was in his home, and the next moment he was in some other places. There wasn’t enough time to register everything that took place. It was too straightforward. You don’t have that ‘way’ around words. None of the emotions you tried to convey came out in the right manner.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/20
You need to understand the difference between the usage of a hyphen (-) and an em-dash (—). A hyphen is used to connect two words while an em-dash is used to set off extra information within a sentence, to signal an abrupt shift, and to emphasize a thought or sentence (like cutting off dialogues). For instance, in the sentence, ‘”P-Please! Let-” she coughed, her chest tightening.’, there should’ve been an em dash used rather than the hyphens.
Then, the use of two hyphens. It’s wrong. Moreover, I couldn’t find a single place where you used a hyphen to separate two sentences the right way. In all the places, a comma would’ve be more than enough.
There were plenty of places where you failed to use full stops too.
The vocabulary could’ve been improvised in many places. At some points, you had the right idea, but used the wrong words. At some other points, the words you used were just mundane. It was just like reading a children’s book, you know what I’m saying? I also noticed that use the same words again and again. Like, I get it. Alpha and Omega. Okay. But you don’t have to use them in every sentence you talk about them. Repetition in some phrases was also noticed.
Characters & Development: 03/10
The characters may have had their own personalities (which is why you got a 3 at the least), but, their characteristics weren’t portrayed through the writing style. The development is kind of noticeable, so good job on that.
Total: 52/100
Final Note: First off, please do not get offended by anything I mentioned above. Keep an open mind and accept them, and work towards improvising! I suggest you add in more details into the book rather than just dialogues and a couple of lines, especially when it comes to how the characters think, and the different scenarios. Good luck with the book. Hit me up if you have any queries or doubts regarding this review. ☺
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