Wow, that's…a lot of comments and all are positive. That's very good, keep it up.
|- 6/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.
The font color was not the best, maybe go for black and decrease the size as well, white makes it look invisible and the big size covers most of Jimin's body and reduce the author name size a bit as well. There it is written 'Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung Oneshot' while in your title it says it's Jimin's Oneshot, so, which one is it? Again, don't use white as a font color and also the quote on top of the cover, keep it in speech marks.
|- 2/⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.
Gives away much of the plot which is cliché and will contain cliché stuff. In my opinion, you should write an interesting dialogue to let readers know that your book is different, unless you don't plan on keeping it unique.
|- 5/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.
It's a nice phrase people use and it's quite catchy even but please write it in caps like "Time Will Tell || PJM {Oneshot}". It doesn't even expose the plot but I feel like it's not relevant to it. I feel like it doesn't match with the plot. A title that matches the words with "broken" and "love" would be better in my opinion.
|- 5/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.
You suddenly did a time skip thus it disrupted the flow of the plot. Instead of breaking it into 3 parts. The plot would have been good if this huge time skip didn't occur.
|- 17/②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.
Your grammar is really good but please give space after you use "." and start a new sentence. Also, break down your paragraphs, they are really long and it might make the readers lose interest in the book. Try to keep the paragraphs short.
You even missed punctuation/commas in some places like this one 'According to Jimin he didn't deserve love from anyone especially Liah' it should be 'According to Jimin, he did not deserve love from anyone and especially, not from Liah'. The sentence structure looks better in this way and the punctuation as well. Also, don't use informal words like "don't" "can't" in narrations, it ruins the flow but you can use it in dialogues.
You are to give commas when the sentence is like this:
"I love Jin," I said.
And supposed to give full stop when it's like this:
"I love Jin more than you." I rolled my eyes at her fakeness.
Also, ellipsis is 3 to 4 dots, not more than that. Don't also use more than one exclamation mark.
|- 6/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
I didn't see any plot twists but maybe the "Jimin being a person who does self-harm" part took me by surprise but I expected it. I was attracted to the plot because of your writing style. For plot twists, you can think of something like Reem's brother was Taehyung or things like that.
I really did feel bad for Jimin and whatever he felt aka I felt his emotions and he did develop.
|- 7①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.
I love the way you write, it makes me wanna keep on reading and reading but you have to be a bit more creative with the plot because it needs some more "spice" into it so you have to think up a bit more.
|- 8/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ.
🆈🅾🆄🆁 🆁🅴🆆🅸🅴🆆 : I like it, I like the plot and everything but that huge time skip shouldn't have been done. I suggest you don't do it like this. Other than that everything is good except the ones I mentioned above.
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