The cover is beautiful. However,the font's glint is sharp which doesn't suit it well. It is making the background appear less and having above the cover. As well as the little dialogues or quotations, whatever you write at the bottom of the cover, I can't read it. It has 2 reasons. One, it is very full. What I meant to say is that letters are mingled into each other. Second, it is so little. Its appearance is small therefore I can't see or read what's written. I suggest you use a better font style for the title and make it a bit smaller as well as end its shiny glint. You can make the subtitles better by enlarging them or make them appear on the cover by changing their color.
Title: ⅕
What type of interaction it has with storyline and plot or what's the purpose of choosing this title, these all aspects are not shown yet therefore, I don't know how many marks I should give and for what reason. However, I gave 1 mark as it is not common in fanfics as there are only a few fan fictions having this name. This isa unique name.
Synopsis: 3/10
It was fair enough. I was neither excited nor bored from reading this. Better to be said, I felt neutral. The dialogue at the first was good but the following lines were not making it any better. The mention of high school in blurb makes it less interesting. Actually, the mention of high school and the line about what could go worst,it already gives the reader an idea that it's a bully, enemy to a love story. Actually, the purpose of the description is to make the reader curious to know and read the story. But I didn't feel that. I already got an idea that the female lead must be abused already at home and now in school male lead will bully her, then the enemy will turn into love.
I don't know what you have planned for the climax of this story, but I am being honest.
You can make it interesting by adding a few dialogues or some intense scenes from the story.
Execution: 6/10
Truth to be said, the plot and the story line has many holes and gaps in it. The execution of events are messing up. I mean to say, it feels unrealistic. At one scene the girl is raped, abused to pulp, beaten to death, and in the very next scene she is again running and spending her life without thinking of any step to stop it all. I doubt if there is any real life like this. I am.sorry to say but all the events you mentioned in this story are unrealistic. Bullying is dangerous but real. But the behavior of the step mother of that female lead is not. Her other husband aka female lead's step mother's husband, loves her step mother and she also has wedded him. But she herself gives him permission to have sex with her.
I am not saying that this is impossible. I just wonder how she is surviving in the very next moment after all the abuse and being black and blue. How has no one noticed her state? Not even her best friend? After knowing all her misery, he hasn't done any precaution or taken any step?
This all doesn't make sense as I am forced to say that the execution is not settled well.
Plot: 9/20
The plot,truth to be said,is not unique. It's a common plotline and being overused by many wattpaders. The abusive home, step mother, bully in school, the so-called girlfriend of the male lead, everything is familiar in these types of stories. You need to make your plot unique by adding a few events which are unique and out of the typical story line. All the aspects you used are overused in many stories.
After being cliché, I would like to point out the gaps in plot which are similar as already mentioned above.
Being raped, sexually abused and other aspects like bullying and physical abuse and no acts being taken upon them, making it look like that you are giving a negative message in it. Being strong and facing all of this is good, but not taking actions against it is very bad. She is mentally disturbed and even after her friend knows, he hasn't taken any step other than consoling her.
I would suggest you work on these aspects.
Writing style: 8/20
Your style is somehow fair but I will not call it good. You still need a lot to improve. I, as a reader, don't know where the female lead's other relatives are. If she had become an orphan at the age of 5, why is she still living with her step mother? According to law, her parenthood should be handed to her grandmother. You didn't give us any detail on their background, their inner conflicts, their emotions and feelings. Their behavior is so confusing and not described well.
Grammar and vocabulary: 14/20
This one factor is good enough to get 10+marks. You still made mistakes in tenses as well as in punctuation which I am sure about, you can work it better.
Character development:3/10
The story doesn't have many chapters to let me know the nature of characters and understand their behavior. The chapters are short, therefore they don't give me any detail on characters. Sometimes it feels like a simple story telling book. And sometimes it feels like only dialogue. The story still has a long way to go and not any character development is seen till now.
Total: 47/100
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