Reader Interaction: (5/5) Wow, I am so surprised by how many comments you have. You published the book only this month but you already have like 85 comments and so many votes already. Your readers must enjoy your books a lot.
Cover: 2/5 Your cover looks good, especially the background and Jimin’s pic. However, the quotes that you used around the cover cannot be seen properly. First of all, the readers are not going to look at the quotes you used in the cover and second of all, the arrangement of the quotes make it harder to read them. I have to squint to read what is written there and even then I can’t see anything. Also, your cover should give a little insight to your plot. Like, who the story is about, etc. You only have Jimin there when the story is also about Y/N and Yoongi.
Description: 2/5
Man, that is the longest description I have ever read. And while I am getting curious about your story from what is written there, I feel that your description is too long and gives out too much information about your plot. Try to make it shorter and on point, but avoid revealing too much because then the readers won’t be much curious to continue reading your story. I also want to put it out there that sometimes I had trouble understanding what you were trying to say in here. Like some of your sentences didn’t make sense. You might want to reread it yourself and think of a better way to word your description.
Book Title: 7/10
I wouldn’t say that your title is unique or has that kind of pull that attracts readers. However, it does have a connection to your plot. I mean, it is relevant to your story and is not something that is completely random. However, I would try to come up with a different, better title to attract more readers, if I were you.
Plot: 8/10
Your plot is awesome. While it is true that there are many Jimin fanfictions out there, your story, itself, is very unique. All the mafia with idol themes, I haven’t seen this before and your storyline is also original and not too cliché. However, for now, your plot is lost to me. Maybe you meant it that way as you don’t want to reveal too much and also create a little suspense, or it must be because you only have 4 chapters at the moment, that I can’t get a read into your story. I do have a feeling of what it may be about but I may be wrong.
Grammar and Vocabulary: 15/20
While you didn’t have too many grammar mistakes, there were a few which bothered me. First of all, in your “Cast” chapter, you used the word ‘hitted’. There is no word such as that in English; not every word in past tense requires -ed at the end. It is simply ‘hit’. Also, I’m not sure if it is intentional but you have spaces before a coma, full stop, and a few other punctuation marks. It is quite of putting since the spaces are not really necessary. Additionally, I suggest that you read your work before publishing because there a few times where the letter at the end or the beginning of a word was missing. This could have been avoided if you had edited your work. I also advice you to use Grammarly. I use that too, especially when I don’t want to use my brain too much to figure out if the grammar, vocabulary and punctuation are correctly used in my writing.
Twists and Attraction: 7/10
Like I said before, your book only has 4 chapters, so I can’t tell if there is a plot twist in there or not, but from what I have read, your book seems interesting. You have a great potential. Also I would suggest that don’t go overboard with plot twists if you decide to use them. Mainly because the readers would be hella confused but also would not want to read your book further because your story would contain more twists than actual plot.
Character Development: 8/10
I really like how you have set out your characters. Jimin is not portrayed as one of those bad boys in every fanfiction and it’s kind of adorable how he is so loyal to his first love. While the characters are still in the beginning of the development phase, I can tell that you are not rushing anything. You are letting the plot and the situation around them shape them.
Writing Style: 10/10
Your writing style is absolutely amazing! You have a mixture of short and long paragraphs, you don’t just end off in the middle of a sentence, and I especially like how each of your dialogue starts on a new line. I also like how you have used bits of quotes in between scenes; it sets the mood of the story but also makes the readers interested in your story.
Reviewer’s Opinion: 8/10
You truly have a great potential. While for now, your book may be lacking a few things, your story is original and not too much of a cliché that make the readers bored and stop reading. This can be seen from the amount of comments you have. Even if you have less reads since your book was just recently published, the comments you received shows that your readers are very invested in your story. I hope my review helped and good luck for your future chapters!
Total: 77/100
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