I didn't see any comments in your book so yeah, maybe it is because it's not exposed enough to readers.
|- 1/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.
When I first saw the cover, I thought it was a Taekook book instead of a readerxidol book. The blending is a nice idea but the choice of pictures is wrong. The font color is not the best. Neither is the font choice.
Go for cursive for the title then it will give the sentimental feel to it, use a dark color as well. Place the 'JJKxReaderxTaehyung' on top and make it small and also write 'JJKxReaderxKTH' as you used Jungkook's name as initials so do the same with Taehyung's one, it's better to use initials. Use a nice font for the author's name and put it at the bottom and then put the title wherever it looks nice but it's your choice where to put all of them. I would suggest not doing the blending as, like I said, it looks like a taekook book instead of the one you are aiming for. Use separate pictures of the idols and use a girl, whose face cannot be seen (unless you have someone you thought of then use their picture but I am guessing you didn't so-) so then it can give that vibe. Choosing the correct pictures is an important factor here.
|- 1/⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.
It's too long thus it makes it boring to read. It even exposes a lot of the plot. It feels like I have read the book just from reading the blurb.
Keep the dialogues said by Min Y/N and Jeon Jungkook. Don't say who said them. Write it like this
"I cannot betray my best friend. I cannot fall for her, this is wrong. She still loves him, and always will."
As in, don't expose who said that dialogue. Keep it like this so it creates a bit of suspense. Cut down everything and keep nice dialogues (like this one from Jungkook) from the story, said by the three main characters and write it in this format with space of course,
Y/N
Taehyung
Jungkook
Give their dialogues like this. Then write the achievements after writing the summary and then other stuff.
|- 8.5/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.
The title is satisfactory and it even reminds me of BTS's song and it even matches the plot but I would still suggest going for another title as many fanfiction tend to use their songs as titles and so end up having the same title as many other titles.
|- 3.5/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.
The pace was so fast. The events just came and went, I could not feel the emotions that should have come from Taehyung's death.
You should have not started the book with this, you should have first written some chapters showing the detailed bonds and interactions between the characters before this scene came. You even missed a dialogue of Y/N.
I was a tad bit disappointed, even though this is a cliché plot, I still expected more from it, also, I am really confused with the sudden flashback in the third chapter.
|- 14.5/②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.
Your grammar is almost good but you missed out on punctuation and delivering the same dialogues said by different people like in the first chapter where Lisa and Y/N both said "We won't!"
You should have written it as '"We won't!" Both Lisa and Y/N exclaimed.' this is better. Avoid using informal words like "won't" "don't" in narration, use them only in dialogues. Also, avoid using Korean-english words as your story is in English and you are following English writing protocols, might as well follow this writing style as well. And also, a single punctuation, use words like "confused", etc. to express the double question marks and also improper capitalisation.
|- 3/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
Taehyung's death, nothing else was nice. Also I was not that attracted to the plot due to the fast pace. Try to be more descriptive and use more words and adjectives, and dialogues, if possible. Also, think of something extraordinary for the plot twists.
'I didn't wait anymore and hugged her tightly, "Miss you too darling!"'
Should be written as
'I could not hold myself back any longer, so, I pulled her into my embrace, hugging her tightly while muttering, "Will miss you too, darling…"'
See? It gives an emotional feel to the paragraph. You lacked here a bit. I couldn't feel the emotions properly and thus I couldn't relate with them. Try to separate their thoughts and your narration, and use more descriptive words to bring in the emotions.
|- 3/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.
Your writing style makes every single line sound kinda cheerful and it looks plain as well plus I had to read the lines twice to understand what you wanted to say. What I want to say is that you have to change up your whole writing style.
I appreciate your creativity but it seems like your fingers and mind work against each other as you can't seem to portray your words properly. My only suggestion would be reading books with good grammar and vocabulary. You will find many well-written fanfics, read them. It doesn't matter if it is BTS or not because you are solely reading to improve yourself.
|- 1/①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ.
🆈🅾🆄🆁 🆁🅴🆆🅸🅴🆆 : I am sorry but I did not enjoy your book much because all the things I pointed above made me not want to read anymore, I lost interest really quick. Also, if you have already mentioned at the beginning whose POV it is then you don't have to write it in "play" format. Either you write it in "play" format or in dialogues but don't do both.
Hope my review was helpful! It's okay if you got low marks but as long as you learned something from it, you didn't fail as a writer. Take this criticism positively and strive for success!
If you have any queries, don't hesitate to drop them in the comments, I'll check and answer them~
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
