Pretty cover but I feel like you should have used another picture where Jimin's figure looks like a bird shape and maybe squeeze in a female silhouette since the story looks kind of intense.
Title: 4/05
A simple title but just write 'Phoenix: The Privileged Bird || PJM' and you can write an 'ongoing' at the start of the book's blurb.
Synopsis: 7.5/10
The execution of the blurb was kind of bad. The hyphen really wasn't necessary instead go for making paragraphs and it should be "The three jewels a few only get to have." It pretty much then says that you are talking about all three.
Also, add an interesting dialogue from the story because the blurb itself is so intense and congested that it made me not wanna read it that much so add a dialogue that you think will catch a reader's attention.
Execution: 9/10
The execution of the book was great. I loved reading it even though you could have written their actions in a better way instead of bracketting them.
Plot: 18.5/20
Writing on psychological disease is a common concept nowadays, especially during these times so the concept isn't new but it still has its own uniqueness. Your writing style compliments the plot and the characters blend but they met too soon. It would have been better if you let them meet after giving some insights about their daily lives. The plot pace is about perfect. The flow is smooth as well.
Writing Style: 18.5/20
Your writing style is heavy but not too much, it's still enjoyable even with the way you wrote your story but I suggest writing the actions in a separate paragraphs like
'The said woman was taken back.
Dan Hwa: Uh…drive? I guess I can? Yes, yep, I can drive.'
It will show her actions better and if you write it more like this—as its not a dialogue—it will properly show that she was actually taken back and that it took her time to get a proper answer.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 17/20
Your vocabulary is strong but your grammar, more specifically your punctuations are not. Sentences which you can easily continue, you break them down and you misuse punctuations like here. It's an edited version of the first and second paragraphs of the Prelude chapter.
'Within the confines, with aesthetics of a peach and warm tone of brown and coral, and house plants sprinkling the freshness of nature, three mortals were conferenced in a common space.
The hanging accreditations and framed certificates on the walls rather identified the room belonging to that of a psychiatrist.'
You also use unnecessary words in some places, you can structure it better. Not like yours is wrong but you can do it better.
Characters & Development: 6.5/10
I like the characters. I love how beautifully they blend with the plot and I can even relate them. I really hope they develop and get over their fears because anxiety is a serious disease that should be eliminated. I hope to see development and since it's an ongoing book, I can't tell much about it right now.
Total: 85/100
Final Note: I know that this is taking place in Korea so you either write in full Korean language or full English language. You aren't allowed to use words like '-nim' and such in English writing, it's grammatically incorrect. It doesn't exist there.
I feel like writing it in a narrative way would have been better but it's my personal opinion, the play narration doesn't feel bad to read though.
اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.
