A very common one, you can go for a different title to be honest, 'Lie'...it suits the book but doesn't gives out the mystery vibes.
Cover: 2/5
The cover is kinda messy...you can make it a simple background one instead of a manip one, or just arrange the text differently. Honestly speaking, it's actually a good cover but the text font is a no no, try to at least change the font to a better one.
Description: 0.5/5
erm...where's the description? There just one line 'It was all a game of ~lie ' , i would suggest you to add few dialogues and a very brief description about the book, the description is full of warnings though and i guess it'd still intrigue people like me. 🤷🏼♀ anyway, a brief description is a must in a book, i seriously can't predict any single thing about the book plot with the provided description and it could probably not attract enough readers.
Reader's interaction: 3/5
The starting chapters has average amount of comments, but the latest chapters are having comparatively lesser comments, the readers seem to understand and enjoy the humor and plot twists so it's good, i believe the number of comments will eventually increase once your book gets more readers.
Rules: 5/5 Thank you💜
Plot: 8/10
Amazing and different, i have read quite a lot of mafia books, the setup might be a little basic and common but the details and incidents are rare and authentic, totally loved them.
Grammar and vocabulary: 17/20
You need to improve your vocabulary, and also use better words wherever possible.
There are few typo's and spelling mistakes, to correct them one single proofread would do. Also, i'd suggest you to use author's pov while explaining any action by the characters,
for example (a line from your book):-
"I'm coming over there by tomorrow *sigh* I'm hanging up bye" Taehyung said as Namjoon hummed in response and they hung up the call.
This could be written as:-
"I'm coming over there by tomorrow," Taehyung sighed, "I'm hanging up, bye." He states as Namjoon hummed in response and they hung up the call.
Describe their actions instead of using asterisk in between dialogues.
Plot twists and attraction: 7.5/10
Impressive, the plot twists are unexpected and NOT cliche, I'm really enjoying the book so far and curious about the many suspicious parts you've given out, also, I'd say you have balanced your plot painfully perfect, you have made the readers curious enough and also had them deprived enough for Jikook moments so you get a five star on that. Talking about the attraction, the chapters are quite good and interesting, totally worth the time.
Emotions and character development: 6/10
The emotions could've been explained in better ways, I'm sure you can write much better so I'd suggest you to stress a little more on explaining the situations and the emotions of the characters, and I know you're stopping yourself from explaining feelings further because either you're worried about giving out too much details or hesitant to explain further because you don't want the readers to predict the plot twists, as a reader and mafia book author myself, I'd suggest you not to show your cards, act neutral while writing a chapter, write down the plot twists somewhere and write as if you're yourself unaware of what's ahead, trust me it works like magic and increases the intensity of mystery your book contains.
Creativity and way of writing: 6.5/10
Creativity gets a 4/5 and way of writing gets a 2.5/5 , yes your way of writing is good, simple and readable but it lacks the use of figures of speech. There are barely any metaphors and the dialogue formation can be improved a lot. As a reader, to be honest, I faced this one issue, the story kept alternating from boring to interesting, major reason: way of describing the scenes. I personally felt the details a little boring but no reviewer can suggest someone to lessen the amount of details in any scene description, so I'd suggest you to rather enhance your way of describing stuffs, especially whenever you're writing in author's pov. Note: Your pacing is amazing, keep it like that but work on your descriptive writing.
Another example from your book:-
"Minho?" Namjoon called out Someone's name i.e. his personal assistant Minho. He treats him with love like his small brother but in work they are like Sir-Assistant not brother-brother.
can be written as:-
"Minho?" Namjoon called out his personal assistant whom he treats like his younger brother but when it comes to work, he prefers to keep his personal and work life separate.
Also! You could've fed the readers with some Jikook moments, maybe give some flashbacks of their childhood memories or their sweet moments in the initial chapters. *pouts*
Your opinion on the book: 7/10
I did enjoyed the book, it just went a little boring when all the scene descriptions showed up, which could be improved by few changes as said above, also, stop using pictures to describe a place, instead just try to word it out, that'd make things more interesting and take the readers deeper into imagination.
example:- instead of showing the bathroom picture (of Jin's room in Namjoon's mansion) you can word it out like:-
Jin entered the bathroom, examining the shiny black interior with purple and white lights around the place. The door and the front wall made up of glass giving a full view of his room. (you can even add something interesting like Jin getting shy or anxious of the fact that someone who entered his room can see him through the glass door) The roof has purple lights fixed right above the shower, making the flowing water look like a mystical purple rain.
Anything as such, I'm not myself a professional in descriptive writing but do give it a go.
Quick Review:
Areas author is good at: plot twists and pacing.
Areas author has to improve in: font style of the cover, description and descriptive writing.
Any tips for the author: Do consider everything i said above and give it a try, i hope your book improves more and gets the attention it deserves! Great work!💖✨
TOTAL: 66.5/100
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